Well – what a week it’s been, or turning out to be; Edelmann has been given his marching orders (but we already knew that) – what we didn’t know was why. The press were none the wiser and proceeded to speculate and generally make shit up in order to plump a few column inches. Now, new information comes to light!
The Joker emailed me the other day, totally unexpected as I had assumed that his focus would have been busied away on projects and other such stuff, but true to his word he got back to me and, among other things, he said this:
“BTW, we delayed our contact of ****** following Edelmann's resignation. There is a view that this is a significant development regarding Fat Boy. What do you reckon?”
Now - when The Joker isn’t sure then you know that the board are playing things close to their chest. The Joker has a finger, or at least someone else’s finger, in chicken balti pies (or the vegan equivilant), up and down the land. I replied:
"I would, through my ever rose tinted glasses, hope that Edelmann was caught cosying up to Jabba and Dein (that little goblin creature who dances around Jabba cackling while he eats frogs) and 'let go'. I hope. I don't know. Um. There would have to be a sea-change of attitude in the board to bring in the money - but that's the way money works, it bangs on the door relentless mocking your integrity until it wears down your resolve."
Three minutes later the news broke that a certain Mr. Stan Kroenke was sniffing around a seat on the board. Just what is going on? We have gone from: “We don’t need your money!” to – “We want your protection!”. Money and protection... anyone see a connection?
The ever straight talking Colonel_Decker from the Facebook Intelligentsia group postulated this analogy:
“Arsenal are the gorgeous sexy girl in the nightclub and these two are the men inside with their eyes on her. They are using different tactics, Usmanov is striding up all pissed and confident slapping her arse and buying her mates rounds of Champagne and telling her how fit she is and what he wants to do to her. Where as Kroenke has approached politely offering to buy a cocktail hoping to impress a gentlemanly impression on her. He hopes that by not pushing things too far she will approach him wanting him to 'pretend to be her boyfriend' to protect her from the loaded loud guy who keeps rubbing his 'half a nasty' against her leg. But beware young sexy attractive Lady, ultimately they both just want the same thing, to fuck you.”
Personally – I think that the board are walking a tightrope here... we’re going to get slipped some rhohipnol and spit-roasted in the car park if we’re not careful and for no other provocation than looking sexy as sin in red and white. These men are scum – make no mistake... Let’s hope the ‘Lady in the nightclub’ can cock-tease the two potential suitors into a brawl in which either they both get ejected by the bouncers or realise the pent-up homo eroticism of the situation and jack each other off in the bogs leaving the Lady with nothing left to do but hit the floor and boogie.
Let’s take a moment here to consider the goings on at Eastlands and examine in detail the pitfalls of giving up your arse to the first psychopath that wops it on the table, political realities aside, this is pretty much how it went:
Thaksin buys some flowers for Man City off a gypo at the traffic lights.
Thaksin gets Man City drunk.
Thaksin declares his love for Man City.
Thaksin promises Man City the world.
Thaksin fucks Man City.
Thaksin makes Man City his crack-whore.
Thaksin pimps out Man City to whoever wants it.
Thaksin dumps Man City.
To all you City fans who welcomed this man as your saviour, you reap what you sow. But hey - you're in the Wafer Cup next season for finishing an impressive sixth in the Premier League fair play table (everyone else had already qualified). Soooo... while there’s (blue) moonlight, and music and love and romance...
...let’s face the music and dance!
[15/05/2008 09:25:58] dhjackal says: maybe you are right after all
[15/05/2008 09:26:09] DogFace says: What might I be right about?
[15/05/2008 09:26:15] dhjackal says: match fixing
[15/05/2008 09:26:15] dhjackal says: Avram Grant seems to agree with you
[15/05/2008 09:26:22] DogFace says: Oh Christ - now I know I'm in trouble when he agrees with me!
[15/05/2008 09:26:37] DogFace says: Link me bad boy.
[15/05/2008 09:26:48] dhjackal says: it's in all the papers this morning
[15/05/2008 09:27:01] DogFace says: What's he said?
[15/05/2008 09:27:01] dhjackal says: saying that the ref gave Man Utd the title
[15/05/2008 09:27:19] DogFace says: Ha ha ha - the fucking gall of the cunt!!
[15/05/2008 09:27:31] dhjackal says: that's what i thought
[15/05/2008 09:27:46] DogFace says: I agree with him - but they would be battling with Everton for a CL place if it wasn't for all the match fixing they have done!!!
[15/05/2008 09:27:46] dhjackal says: i hope we win the CL with a dodgy penalty now
[15/05/2008 09:28:05] dhjackal says: some you get some you don't
[15/05/2008 09:28:14] DogFace says: ...right...
[15/05/2008 09:28:31] DogFace says: This is in the run up to the final, obviously it's a ‘pre-emptive spin’.
[15/05/2008 09:29:23] dhjackal says: your right - lump on United
[15/05/2008 09:29:30] DogFace says: Chelsea are probably going to win on dodgy ref decisions and then hold their hands up and say "Hey, it all evens out".
[15/05/2008 09:29:59] DogFace says: Going to check the sports pages now...
[15/05/2008 09:30:08] dhjackal says: (nod)
[15/05/2008 09:30:49] DogFace says: ...nothing on BBC that I can see...
[15/05/2008 09:31:19] DogFace says: Oh hang on... it's hidden away down the headlines.
[15/05/2008 09:31:58] DogFace says: "In England there are some very good referees - but there are some, a few of them, you can influence,"
[15/05/2008 09:32:19] DogFace says: He should know as he's 'influenced' most of them!!!
[15/05/2008 09:35:42] dhjackal says: (smirk)
[15/05/2008 10:09:09] DogFace says: This is very interesting indeed... I wonder what Chelsea are up to - either this is a desperate attempt to curry favour with the CL ref's after they failed to buy them (I doubt it as in a fair game they would lose) or it's an attempt to put the thought that 'Chelsea deserve it' and 'Chelsea don’t cheat' in the public mind to dampen any hoo-haa if there are any dodgy decisions in the favour of the Chavs.
[15/05/2008 10:23:16] dhjackal says: Mmmm
[15/05/2008 10:23:27] dhjackal says: i guess we'll find out on Wednesday
[15/05/2008 10:29:46] DogFace says: I await a Fergie response - he won't be able to help himself!
[15/05/2008 10:31:16] DogFace says: he's probably reading the papers now over his cornflakes - his hands shaking like crazy...
[15/05/2008 10:31:28] dhjackal says: i doubt it
[15/05/2008 10:31:38] DogFace says: ...then he has his triple scotch and the shakes calm down a bit!
[15/05/2008 10:31:55] dhjackal says: he's probably cleaning all the medals in his trophy cabinet - too busy to read the papers
[15/05/2008 10:32:26] DogFace says: I hope he doesn’t do it with his breath and a tissue or they'll melt!
[15/05/2008 14:04:41] dhjackal says: http://soccernet.espn.go.com/news/story?id=535471&cc=5739
[15/05/2008 14:04:59] DogFace says: Yeah, yeah - old news.
[15/05/2008 14:05:06] dhjackal says: raped!
[15/05/2008 14:05:17] dhjackal says: at least it won't be by your own
[15/05/2008 14:05:37] DogFace says: We're pitting one fat pig against the other – although it doesn’t look good.
[15/05/2008 14:05:40] DogFace says: :-(
