Am I un H A P P Y? Does a new born baby cry?

So – just what the fuck happened on Saturday? And how can we go from a 6-0 demolishing of Sheffield with our reserves to a 1-2 loss against Hull with our first team?

I'd like to say it was all down to Wiley – and to a greater extent it was, but all credit goes to Hull for picking up on the refereeing bias as quickly as they did and exploiting it to their maximum advantage... all shame goes to the Arsenal squad for putting their heads down when it was obvious that the whistle was only blowing one way for this game. We have won games like this before – why give up, why panic?

The first goal was disallowed... I do not know why? There was no repaly on the screens and MOTD brushed over it as quickly as was possible with no replay/slow motion/camera angles or analysis. The talking head who was commentating said:

"I think it was disallowed for offside... or the initial shove? Besides it hit his arm anyway."

Did it? Was it? Huh? 3D virtual replay please... Nice to see Ronaldo won his 'nailed on penalty' to ensure a Manu win though; so it wasn't all bad ref decisions this w/e... wait – yes it was?!

Why is there absolutely no consistency in media reaction, referee decisions and punishment for on-pitch (and off-pitch) infringements?

For instance – Riley sends off Cahill for that 'shocker of a challenge' and 'disrespect' (?!?!) where as Clichy takes a leg-breaker last week and the fucker gets a yellow... also compare that with Pogatetz identical challenge on Possebon? Straight red - Hard but fair? Is Possebon a 'Jessey' – oh please, do tell as I'm confused?!

If this carries on then pretty soon the general football fan will reach such a state of bewilderment that he/she will be forced to start making up their own mind about this league, the people that run it, the people that officiate it and all their apologists.

I'm going to let you into a little secret, we were in a bad position playing Hull before the whistle even blew for kick off... I knew this and so did a lot of other disillusioned football fans. If fact we were in a bad position as soon as Liverpool beat Everton.

I laid Arsenal heavily (put money down on Arsenal not to win) as soon as Cahill got sent off against Liverpool. This is not because I thought Hull were the better team – this was because Everton beating Liverpool was our only chance of a fair game against Hull. It breaks down a little something like this:

The 'Big 4' multiple must not come home - the bookies' 'bottom line' must be protected.

If Arsenal had beaten Hull then that would mean that Liverpool, Manchester Utd, Chelsea and Arsenal would have won their respective matches. Where as Chelsea and Man-u were obviously going to win their games; so it became exceedingly good value to oppose Arsenal in the last match of the day. We have been stung by this before.

Remember last season, March 15th against Middlesbrough when we were the last to play after the 3 of the 'big 4' won? If you attended the match you will not forget how badly treated we were that day... Mark Halsey and his henchmen were booed off the pitch – although he's not the craftsman that Wiley is and lacks the subtlety to not make it so 'bleeding obvious' what he's up to... which leads us nicely to the game Saturday – how do you swing a match like this – and why were the only 'football-savvy' section of the crowed (Red Section) chanting:

"You don't know what you're doing"

by way of comment on Wiley's performance? For the record I thought that Wliey knew exactly what he was doing.

There are many areas in which an advantage can be given – in this game in particular; it was in the challenge, advantage play and the free kick.

1. If the ref allows you to lead with the elbow in the air (I lost count how many times this happened without Hull being penalised for it) then as a 'route 1' team you are going to be doing an awful lot of it. The failure to penalise for strength, or recklessness, in the tackle is a randomiser in favour of the lesser team as it takes an element of skill out of the match.
2. If one team can not win a free kick for love or money anywhere in a goal scoring position then it will give the opposing team's players and manager the tip off to get his defence to go in hard and with added confidence on the challenge.
3. If one team is breaking forward and the other team throw in a foul only for the ref to pull play back, give a free kick and not give the advantage; then that tactic will be used repeatedly to the advantage of the defending team over the attacking team. Selective use of 'advantage' play is a very effective way to stop attacking teams who like to pass the ball by allowing an advantage when there is none and, conversely, stopping play where there is.

Look out for it next time why don't you... and here's another tip; if you are watching it on the telly - the bias is easier to see with the sound turned down.

There is one thing that disturbed my about Saturday... this is Hull and we only 'turned it on' when they got in the lead in a desperate effort to get a point back. We are good enough to win matches like these despite the 'tilted' playing surface. In my opinion we encouraged Hull further by giving up the fight far too easily - and it worries me as to our aspirations of actually winning anything this season... it really got to the players and that susception to 'mental frailty' needs to be learned from and now.

[29/09/2008 09:20:38] DogFace says: So.... did you win as much cash as me getting on Hull?
[29/09/2008 09:20:56] DogFace says: I quote: "[25/09/2008 14:23:30] DogFace says: Saturday
...
Arsenal v Hull - 17:30 - Arsenal (although depending on the Liverpool/Manu/Chelsea games - one of the big 4 will not win and liverpool seems the obvious target)"
[29/09/2008 09:21:26] DogFace says: Over £100... I'm still pissed off about it though.
[29/09/2008 09:21:43] dhjackal says: " liverpool seems the obvious target"?
[29/09/2008 09:21:54] DogFace says: yeah - that was earlier in the day
[29/09/2008 09:22:08] dhjackal says: you didn't win cos your rubbish
[29/09/2008 09:22:16] DogFace says: as soon as Liverpool beat Everton I was laying Arsenal heavily
[29/09/2008 09:22:28] dhjackal says: why?
[29/09/2008 09:22:31] dhjackal says: you weren't robbed
[29/09/2008 09:22:36] dhjackal says: you were beaten
[29/09/2008 09:22:40] DogFace says: Because Man-u and Chavski were obviously going to win their matches...
[29/09/2008 09:22:47] dhjackal says: so
[29/09/2008 09:22:48] DogFace says: ...which left Arsenal Vs Hull.
[29/09/2008 09:23:14] dhjackal says: yeah and Hull showed just why your not going to win the league
[29/09/2008 09:23:39] DogFace says: Look, I'm trying to give you a bit of advice on your betting here...
[29/09/2008 09:23:58] DogFace says: ...if you want to live in cloud fairy land then fine.
[29/09/2008 09:23:58] dhjackal says: that's rubbish advice
[29/09/2008 09:24:16] DogFace says: How so when it was entirely accurate?
[29/09/2008 09:24:26] dhjackal says: it was entirely lucky
[29/09/2008 09:24:30] DogFace says: HA!
[29/09/2008 09:24:49] dhjackal says: still i'm glad somethign good came out of it for you
[29/09/2008 09:24:57] DogFace says: So - like when I said that you wouldn't beat Newcastle on the opening round of matches as you were last to play and the other 3 of the big 4 won? I was wrong then too?
[29/09/2008 09:25:00] dhjackal says: if i were you i'd lay Arsenal for the season
[29/09/2008 09:25:04] DogFace says: Remember that, ring any bells mate?
[29/09/2008 09:25:24] dhjackal says: (clap)
[29/09/2008 09:25:51] DogFace says: Now are you starting to learn..?
[29/09/2008 09:26:01] dhjackal says: we didn't beat them because we played shite
[29/09/2008 09:26:08] DogFace says: You boys will work with the bookmakers and that's one of the reasons why you are so successfull.
[29/09/2008 09:26:14] DogFace says: Although Webb helped too.
[29/09/2008 09:26:17] dhjackal says: and Arsenal?
[29/09/2008 09:26:25] dhjackal says: they wanted to lose yesterday?
[29/09/2008 09:26:28] DogFace says: Well - that's the thing.
[29/09/2008 09:26:32] dhjackal says: what?
[29/09/2008 09:26:37] dhjackal says: you got beat at home
[29/09/2008 09:26:38] DogFace says: It was a little suss actually...
[29/09/2008 09:26:39] dhjackal says: by hull
[29/09/2008 09:26:42] DogFace says: Yeah - Hull.
[29/09/2008 09:26:48] dhjackal says: embarressing
[29/09/2008 09:26:57] DogFace says: That made me think - some of the play was totally out of character.
[29/09/2008 09:26:58] dhjackal says: paint it whatever way you want
[29/09/2008 09:27:02] dhjackal says: you lost on the pitch
[29/09/2008 09:27:06] dhjackal says: no excuses
[29/09/2008 09:27:31] DogFace says: I hate to think we threw it.... as Wiley was being an utter cunt - but we lost spirit a bit too quickly for my liking.
[29/09/2008 09:28:05] dhjackal says: i think you threw it
[29/09/2008 09:28:10] DogFace says: Really?
[29/09/2008 09:28:14] dhjackal says: it's all part of the bigger picture
[29/09/2008 09:28:17] dhjackal says: can't you see?
[29/09/2008 09:28:19] DogFace says: -tut-
[29/09/2008 09:28:40] DogFace says: If there is a bigger picture it'll be for the bigger teams - and if I knew what it was then I'd make enough cash to retire off it!
[29/09/2008 09:37:45] dhjackal says: how did you get on in the fantasy football?
[29/09/2008 09:48:01] DogFace says: Ohh.. dunno - I don't think I did very well this week. [29/09/2008 09:50:33] DogFace says: Yeah - rubbish - 32 points
[29/09/2008 09:51:50] DogFace says: u?
[29/09/2008 09:55:27] dhjackal says: don't know
[29/09/2008 09:56:18] dhjackal says: 59
[29/09/2008 09:56:20] dhjackal says: (dance)
[29/09/2008 09:56:30] DogFace says: meh
[29/09/2008 10:38:16] dhjackal says: what you doing for lunch?
[29/09/2008 10:38:55] DogFace says: Hmmmmm........ [29/09/2008 10:39:02] DogFace says: need to get some food.
[29/09/2008 10:39:37] dhjackal says: me too
[29/09/2008 10:40:14] DogFace says: Korean/Garners/Mexican?
[29/09/2008 10:40:23] dhjackal says: don't mind
[29/09/2008 10:40:27] dhjackal says: Korean?
[29/09/2008 10:41:27] DogFace says: Yeah man.
[29/09/2008 10:41:34] dhjackal says: sound
[29/09/2008 10:41:42] DogFace says: Let's smash up the kim-chi! [29/09/2008 10:42:43] DogFace says: We need to sort out our betting strategies for the CL games... cash to be made! Who's playing who this week?
[29/09/2008 11:00:05] DogFace says: ...Oh good god - hold the phone: "Super-agent Pini Zahavi is in talks with an unnamed Asian billionaire about a takeover of Tottenham. Spurs chairman Daniel Levy has previously said he would listen to offers and values the club at about £400m."
[29/09/2008 11:00:35] dhjackal says: the table in 2 years time:
[29/09/2008 11:00:44] dhjackal says: Man City
[29/09/2008 11:00:46] dhjackal says: Tottenham
[29/09/2008 11:00:50] dhjackal says: Newcastle
[29/09/2008 11:00:54] dhjackal says: Chelsea
[29/09/2008 11:01:01] dhjackal says: Man Utd
[29/09/2008 11:01:03] dhjackal says: Liverpool
[29/09/2008 11:01:07] dhjackal says: Everton
[29/09/2008 11:01:09] dhjackal says: Aston Villa
[29/09/2008 11:01:13] dhjackal says: Arsenal
[29/09/2008 11:01:15] dhjackal says: Hull
[29/09/2008 11:01:18] DogFace says: (rofl)
[29/09/2008 11:01:42] DogFace says: You have to laugh... if you didn't laugh you'd cry!
[29/09/2008 11:04:28] dhjackal says: true

Destruction of men in their prime...

You know what, I think that I might have just witnessed a little bit of Arsenal history on Tuesday night... 6-0 says it all – but, if anything the result flattered Sheffield. It could have been 10-0.

"We would have been better off not turning up, or not getting drawn against them in the cup. We were trying to swat flies and couldn't catch them." - Kevin Blackwell

The remarkable thing for me was that I felt like I was watching a vintage Arsenal performance... the play was all distinctly Arsenal but the players were different – I found myself continually looking up at the screens to find out who was playing in what number. It was incredible that there seems to be a fully formed team just waiting in the wings to break through. Who needs a £100,000,000 transfer budget when we have a youth system that clearly works and is now starting to pay dividends? Arsene must have been chuckling to himself for the whole 90 minutes - £125,000,000 being bandied about for Ronaldo, the game has gone mad; I mean - FUCK OFF!

"We knew they were a good set of lads at Arsenal, but nobody knew how good they were." - Kevin Blackwell

I know it's only the tin cup – but this is a competition that I am growing very fond of... if we look back to the recent past our best players have matured in this competition and found their way into the first team. We know where they came from and we know just how good they are.

"They were awesome at times and would have beaten most teams. A lot of people would like to know how Arsene Wenger can do it." - Kevin Blackwell

These lesser cups give the youth squad something to aim for and the kind of exposure that they need to deal with the pressure of playing premiership and Champions League football... If I were Arsene I would give them the FA cup too.

"He has gone around the world to pick out the best - but there are also four or five top-class English kids in there so that can only bode well for the future of the national team." - Kevin Blackwell

Blackwell is right - in addition to Wenger's approach of building talent rather than buying it we are starting to see a some top class English talent coming through. These lads are driven by each other to improve. Anyone who claims that Arsenal is bad for the English game because we have had to budget to non-English talent until we can provide our own English players is blind. We are the best thing to happen to English football. We are the example. Chelsea fans will claim that their club supports the English football team because they have the likes of Lampard and Terry – this is shit, look what they did with SWP, an English youth with great promise – they ruined him with money and stuck him on the bench.

"Arsenal are one of the few teams I would pay to watch. I've spoken to Arsene and he's admitted that these are the best single group of players he's had, they're exceptional."

They are exceptional – every one of them... some will stay and some will leave but they have all learned their trade with us and I hope that they and our national squad appreciate it... a few of them seemed very special - I bet you that Wenger has received a few offers for loan deals this week!

"Same old Arsenal, Taking the Piss" – The Crowd

And they did... just you wait until they grow up!

Lets move on to Platini and what he said... as I think that I should 'go there'.

This isn't the first time that Platini has criticised Wenger (and to be honest I'm suspicious about the timing, and the relevance, of this 'news story' in addition to the 'news story' about the notes for a team talk being found) – these stories are relevant to Arsenal fans but why am I hearing about it in the mainstream press? The previous criticism about Arsenal buying youth players and developing them came out in late 2007 but it seems to have been amalgamated in the press with the current comments regarding video technology and running a club like a business.

Let's check out what he said:

"I like to talk about football, him (Wenger) about business. We must stop with Wenger and all that."

Right... according to Platini – making sure that your club doesn't go bankrupt is bad for the game – where as getting in a billionaire to bankroll success, unsustainably, by fair means or foul is... what – good for the game?

What Platini fails to see here is that Arsenal, in their own context, are the team under the kosh from the 'big clubs' in order to succeed – his previous arguments about us buying young talent (and nurturing them to the maximum of their ability) adversely affecting the smaller clubs who might keep them and turn them into shit-kickers is nonsense. For a start, didn't we get Fabregas from Barcelona? If he wants to address the balance then he should look into mandatory sell-on fees. See 'David Bentley' for an example of how this works. The other thing is that his arguments fall solely in favour of the 'lesser club' over the ambition and/or potential of the player. How exactly are you going to 'stop' a player from wanting to join a club where he can not only improve his game but realise his worth?

The flipside of this is that there are 1000's of young players who pour their future into playing the game for a club only to have their careers ended early by a bad challenge and are in effect told to fuck off for their loyalty; as an unproven or 'worthless' commodity, the parent club makes a business decision in that it cannot afford to bankroll their rehabilitation – I'm all in favour for redistribution of wealth and a social agenda but I think that this would start with the game caring for its players in the same way that the players, when they start out in their careers, care for the game... in this game the cream should rise to the top both club and player – at present the system is set up so it is only the money and the scum that makes it.

Keeping your club 'in the black' is the way things have been done since the leagues began... I would say that it would be in the best interests of the game to encourage the 'Arsenal model' rather than disparage it... we may then have a glut of talent in the sport rather than a scarcity of it. Also – in addition to mandatory selling-on clauses for young talent there should be a mandatory % on transfer fees going to a charity trust for helping out the players who got ruined on the way... it could even be tax-deductible. Is there a professional footballers union? There fucking should be!

Platini then embarrassed himself and reportedly said he hoped video assistance would never come into football, adding:

"It would make me happy that Arsene Wenger never sees it."

What can I possibly add to that statement as analysis on Platini's professionalism, vision and objectivity?

I have a theory about the Platini's problem with Arsene...

…Arsene fucked his wife once and she loved it.

I'm looking for the mechanical music museum

________________________________________

 

From: DogFace
Sent: 23 September 2008 17:32
To: PieFace
Subject: RE: North-bank-Enders... the saga continues

 

No worries...

 

...You realise that this email thread is getting blogged right?

 

:-D

 

________________________________________

 

From: PieFace
Sent: 23 September 2008 15:56
To: DogFace
Subject: RE: North-bank-Enders... the saga continues

 

Nah, coming back from Wales tonight, my train gets in too late to be able to get to the Emirates - will have to give this one a miss.

 

Wilshere to score first!

________________________________________

 

From: DogFace
Sent: 23 September 2008 15:47
To: PieFace
Subject: RE: North-bank-Enders... the saga continues

 

Indeed... let us maintain our views and time will tell.

 

You going to the game tonight; it might be possible to ponce a spare ticket for club level if you are interested in seeing the kids take on Sheffield!?  We'll probably be the only ones up there though!

 

Oh yeah, some sources:

 

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/3084518.stm

 

Or just google it:

 

http://www.google.co.uk/search?q=Dein+Wembley+Arsenal+move&rls=com.microsoft:en-us:IE-SearchBox&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&sourceid=ie7&rlz=1I7SUNA

 

________________________________________

 

From: PieFace
Sent: 23 September 2008 15:41
To: DogFace
Subject: RE: North-bank-Enders... the saga continues

 

Reference to old Etonians was in the eyes of DD not me. Plus I agree with their strategy of running the club with consistent sustainable and profitable growth at the forefront of their minds as opposed to being a rich person's fantasy football team. With a manager like AW you can still challenge - its still eleven v eleven over 90 minutes at the end of the day.

 

I am positive Dein never advocated moving from Highbury to Wembley (sources?) although I concede it may be true about the development phase, that is something I know nothing about.

 

Anyway lets agree to disagree on this, I'll be willing to believe that Dein will see the error of his ways, swallow his pride and possibly come back a better person for it, and if you continue to believe that he's an incredible tool that will never change his spots, I'll understand why.

 

________________________________________

 

From: DogFace
Sent: 23 September 2008 15:07
To: PieFace
Subject: RE: North-bank-Enders... the saga continues.

 

Actually - I believe that Dein wanted to relocate to play at Wembley rather than build a new stadium – hence the European games being held there in the late 90's... his opposition was to the building of the new stadium (as I stated) rather than the knowledge that we could fill a larger venue – that is obvious.  He was also opposed to Arsenal running the development phase and, instead, wanted to put it out to contract – again he was proved incredibly wrong (see the 'new Wembley' for proof of how these things can spiral into bankruptcy).

 

It is my understanding that Dein, in the face of the mounting evidence against the validity of his business acumen and decision making, refused to change his stance – thus alienating himself from the rest of the board (ergo 'his precious')... it should also be pointed out – fan or no – that Dein's stubborn myopic streak has stung him in the past and chasing bad ideas is what has reduced him from 42% shareholder of Arsenal to a 0% shareholder in the first place.  Also – Dein's personal agenda with regards to his slippery courting of foreign investment to 'put him back where he felt he belonged'; all behind the back of the board of directors, had an incredibly destabilising effect on the club.

 

The elitist old Etonians, which they undoubtedly are, seem to have that 'old money' longer term view for the club as a sustainable outfit... their stance to shun 'new money' might indeed be down to snobbery but I feel that the ends, in this case, justifies the means.

 

Dein may have brought in Wenger but all respect must go to Wenger for the job he has done... this kudos cannot be retrospectively fitted or apportioned back to the man who hired him.  Wenger is unique – the likes of Dein are ten-a-penny... if anything I believe that he has lost touch with the working class fan base more than the elitist old Etonians, freemasons, Lady muck's and diamond dealers... which, in my inverted working class snobbery, makes it even worse – as a 'fan' he should know better.

 

Like I said… humble pie – and a big portion with ice cream and custard.

 

________________________________________

 

From: PieFace
Sent: 23 September 2008 13:31
To: DogFace
Subject: RE: North-bank-Enders... the saga continues.

 

We've always differed a little on this one ...

Dein never opposed the new stadium. The new stadium was agreed and planned way before the big fall-out. No-one ever saw it as a cash burden, but as a necessary step in Arsenal's evolution as big club. Highbury, with a 38,000 capacity, was simply too small, everyone knew that. Dein included.

 

He and Hill-Wood fell out because Dein wanted to get Kroenke in to bankroll the club and play the game the same way as Man Utd with the Glazers and Liverpool with Hicks and Gillett (and to a lesser extent, Chelsea and Abramovich). Dein was convinced that the only way to stay competitive and guarantee premiership aspirations and Champions League qualification was to sell out for the megabucks to buy the best players and pay them the best wages.

 

What then happened was that Dein overplayed his hand. He may not have been a major shareholder, but he believed that he had the hearts and minds of the manager (Wenger, his appointee), the players (TH14 one of his biggest mates and a powerful force in the dressing room) and the fans, all on his side. He was, after all, Mr Arsenal. What he didn't realise was that ultimately, money talks (or more to the point, the shareholders call the shots). Hill-Wood got Fiszman and Lady Nina on his side, adopted a somewhat stuffy "we don't want no foreign scumbags" attitude, and basically drew a line in the sand for Dein. This must have been a big ego knife-wound for a guy who had poured his heart and soul into the club, and he wasn't the type to go away with his tail between his legs and toe the line he didn't believe in, dictated by a bunch of elitist Old Etonians who didn't really understand football anyway in his eyes.

 

Since then he has learned the hard way that pride comes before a fall. Henry left for Barca, removing his influence in the dressing room; he expected 100% loyalty from Wenger, but misjudged the fact that Wenger's loyalty lay not with Dein, but with the players and team he had crafted, and was too honourable and stright-shooting a guy to play political games with that trust and respect. Without a controlling interest, Dein metamorphosed from trusted and passionate 'fixer' into troubled and bitter 'spoiler', jumping into bed with the first Arsenal-fancying billionaire who came along, who unfortunately happened to be one of the biggest and nastiest pieces of work east of the Urals.

 

I honestly think that Dein's association with Usmanov is what has damned him to his current respect level. It's a long way back for him but he is still an Arsenal fan who only wanted what he thought was best (even if he is wrong, in our book).

 

I do feel sorry for him. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be at the heart of the success story you were pivotal in creating. And he has got plenty of short-sighted Arsenal fans believing in his philosophy of getting a billionaire in to compete wage-wise and transfer-fee-wise with the big boys. He made the mistake of saying "if you don't follow my advice, I'm out of here and then you'll be sorry" - when they told him "OK, don't let the doorknob smack you on your arse on the way out" - there was no going back. It's only his passion for the club that drove him into his desparate errors; only a true fan would have bothered to work his way back into the club, riding on the coat-tails of someone with insane amounts of money who can buy his way into a controlling interest.

 

I think we should give the guy a break, be thankful he is now splitting from the fat pig, and remember him fondly for getting us Wenger, Henry etc which led to a golden era. And don;t rule out the humble pie. We've already seen that he'll do anything and evrything to get himself back into Arsenal.

 

________________________________________

 

From: DogFace
Sent: 23 September 2008 13:03
To: PieFace
Subject: RE: North-bank-Enders... the saga continues.

 

Nah – barring him eating a huge slice of public humble pie I have no respect for him at all - he's lost. 

 

I have no respect for anyone who would have Jabba sitting at the head of the board room while he cackles about as Hill-Wood is fed to the Sarlac and Lady Nina Bracewell-Smith dances on the end of a chain purely and simply to satisfy their own ego.  He is not a team player – these are the actions of someone who has lost the plot. 

 

I think Dein when opposed the new stadium development; that was where the trouble started... he, overruled on that one, went sniffing around billionaires for the funds that he was convinced we'd need to 'compete'… this was obviously in order to give credence to his opposition in the first place and set him up, in his mind, to ride in as the savior shouting 'I told you so' for the mess our 'cash burden' grove had put us in... he fell in love with this fantasy and it took over any love that he proclaimed to have for the club. 

 

He loves the club as an entity to revolve around him - simple.  He want's success, yes, but it is only a success with him at the centre – he wants to be 'Arsenal history'... alas he is turning into a joke.  Thanks, for Wenger and the good work he did at that time – he should have stuck with it (buying/selling players and being a custodian of the future success of the club) and not played power politics and trying to make himself 'the man'.

 

Idiot.

 

________________________________________

 

From: PieFace
Sent: 23 September 2008 12:32
To: DogFace
Subject: RE: North-bank-Enders... the saga continues.

 

If it wasn't for Dein, we would never have had a certain Mr A. Wenger as our manager. That fact alone qualifies him for respect.

 

I see him as Annakin Dein, following a massive row with the Jedi council over the best direction and strategy of the Jedi order, lured over to the Dark Side by the Dark Uzbek Lord of the Sith. He still has a pride and ego problem - probably falls asleep at night dreaming of the day he is triumphantly light-sabreing his way through Hill-Wood's neck a.k.a.sitting smugly at the head of the Boardroom table telling a cowering Hill-Wood "you're fired". 

 

BUT with the poisonous influence of the Sith eradicated I have hope for him, strong is he with the force (not all Arsenal fans dislike him - I don't), he is passionate about the club and has done a vast amount in our success, notwithstanding that I don't necessarily agree with his strategic bent towards buddying-up with a billionaire and injecting flipping great wodges of cash to protect the club against the future scenario you yourself have envisaged, stuck in the UEFA Cup as the moneybags teams buy all the best players, including our own. I say, keep it pure, play the beautiful game for the game's sake and not for money's sake, and good will triumph over evil. Look into your heart David, let go of your hate ...

 

________________________________________

From: DogFace
Sent: 23 September 2008 12:04
To: PieFace
Subject: RE: North-bank-Enders... the saga continues.

 

I don't think Dein has got much to offer anyone now that he has sold all his shares to the Usbek blubber-mountain and nobody at Arsenal likes him... although he is clearly desperate to get back in and bring a billionaire with him.  I really don't like Dein much at all – he has personally brought these characters to our door, first with his chumminess with Kroneke (which got him expelled in the first place) and then with his cosy chats with Usmanov – Red & White holdings... *whatever*.  All responsibility lies with him – we didn't want 'his type' but now we have him, i.e. Kroneke, forced on us.

 

All thanks to "Mr. Arsenal"... why any of the fans still have any time for his is beyond me.

 

________________________________________

From: PieFace
Sent: 23 September 2008 11:46
To: DogFace
Subject: RE: North-bank-Enders... the saga continues.

 

All good to read

 

Glad to hear that Dein has left Red and White, he was Usmanov's only hope of getting his feet under the Arsenal table. Perhaps he'll buddy up with Kroenke now - you never know. I'm suspicious of Kroenke's motives but anything's better than the alternative.

 

say we are top of the league

 

________________________________________

From: DogFace
Sent: 23 September 2008 10:59
To: PieFace
Subject: North-bank-Enders... the saga continues.

 

Hmmm… 

 

http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2008/sep/23/arsenal.premierleague1?gusrc=rss&feed=football

 

Interesting stuff on the Arsenal/Usmanov crisis... this is certainly good news for this season if it is true as he won't be looking to 'divide and conquer' with regards to the results/fanbase.  I still don't like the Kroenke involvement but with the finances in order and Wenger at the wheel - I can't see him wanting to rock the boat too much.

 

________________________________________ 

The spell of repetition really is on you

Another good result 'up norf'... and another good showing by Eboue who this time won us a goal!

 

Is that the sound of silence I hear from his critics?  Or are they just banging on about it being offside... which it may or may not have been.

 

I lost money on this match – I hate to say it but I thought that the writing was on the wall... I had 2 bets:

 

£2 Davies (to score) – Won @ 5
£10 Arsenal/Draw HT/FT - Lost @ 20

 

So £2 down... if Walcott hadn't come on a sliced them down to 1-3 with his snakey run and mazy legs to set up the third goal and demoralise them as they were chipping away at our defence (literally in the case of Clichy) I could have been £200 up!

 

That's the second time Walcott has lost me money... still – I forgive him.

 

The MOTD coverage was a disgrace – which, in my book, bodes badly for our season.  If the talking heads are trying to establish an anti-Arsenal template (again) it can only be because we are being set up for a fall (again)... shall we say that it might be some time around the start of February (again) that the wheels might fall off our wagon and we get robbed game after game after game (again)?

 

I'm going to predict that the 26th of January (onwards) will be the date when our dreams will start to fall apart... why that date – well, it's Chinese new year of course and while the Chinese are eating dim sum with their nearest and dearest; all power goes to the European bookies to utterly and completely fuck with our game with gay abandon safe in the knowledge and freedom that they will not be getting their fingers burned in the Asian markets, no matter how obvious their corruptions are (again)!

 

*checks fixtures*

 

Shit... Tottenham (away) is around that time - bugger.

 

And while we are on the subject... I hate to crow about the plight of the spuds but what the fuck were all yous boys on about preseason?  All I heard was "we're going to be top 4" and "we're going to finish above Arsenal".  When will you learn to keep it fucking shut?  It's getting boring... it's one way traffic – like our rivalry.

 

Back to MOTD.  The grey-mullety talking head and the one seemingly attending a job interview to be the next manager of 'Newcastle (not at all) United' both leapt off their seats in full apologist mode when the ex-spud talking head asked them about the tackle on Clichy.  The upshot was that it was a perfectly fair challenge... hard but fair – and if you can't take that kind of 'football' then you are a (southern/foreign) "jessy".

 

So – there you go, apparently it's ok to throw in leg-breaker challengers on "Jessys" (i.e. tricky Arsenal foreigners) and so say all of us pundits and 'experts'... so it must be ok.

 

You know, I'd like to play a game of football with them two... After 8 years of Kung-Fu - I've got a bagfull of 'hard-but-fair' challenges for them... northern shit-kickers.

 

Also – The Eboue goal was 'shown' to be offside by a camera angle of the ball at Bendtner's feet while Eboue was in an offside position – the video was then flipped into 'real time' (no slow motion back/forth over the moment of the pass) to show Eboue scoring... It may have been offside - but I couldn't make my mind up from the clip where it was obvious that there were trying to show him as offside as possible?!  In contrast the Liverpool goal (disallowed) on MOTD 2 had a full 3D virtual reality spin-cam-blah-second-life recreation to 'prove' (from a computer simulation) that the goal should have stood... I don't doubt that it should have stood, I could see that from the fucking video?!?!  in further contrast – the Bolton goal, which came off 3 fouls against us, was declared "all too easy".

 

There may be trouble ahead... again.

 

*Arsenal News*

 

They weren't lying about the cash were they... damn.  What does this mean in terms of the Jabba man... and what else, other than a human shield against the Usbeck blubber mountain (and a bit of brand marketing), can Kroenke possibly offer us?

 

And, more importantly, what will he want in return?

Just as every cop is a criminal and all the sinners’ saints

Another shitty night in the Ukraine – we should be used to it... still – 1-1 is a result as far as I'm concerned and it was all the better for Gallas to score the goal to get us a point in the final few minutes.  How many times has he done that for us?  Captain fucking fantastic leads by example yet again!  He's getting on a bit, in footballing terms, so to be there for us right up to the whistle is a testament to his dedication and fitness... still, some fans will never be happy and no doubt they will blame him and Sagna for the penalty that went against us.

 

Why is it always the black players that get judged the harshest... and celebrated the most?

 

The penalty was utter bollocks and I got the impression that the game was distinctly dodgy... not that I saw that much as the stream I got was fairly unreliable – but I saw enough.  Walcott got mugged a number of times and at least one of them deserved a straight red – this was not a 50/50 'for the ball' incident – it was studs up and for the legs... which is the other side of the coin for the international performance he put in against Croatia.  Those Ukraine boys don't give a fuck if they ruin Mr Golden Bollocks or what The Sun might print about them after the fact... and with the blind eye of the ref they proceded to beat him like a ginger step-child.

 

My question is who and why?  Cantalejo has some history of awarding dodgy penalties – like when he put Italy through in the World Cup against Hiddink's Australian side... mind you – he also sent off Materazzi earlier in that match for no good reason; making them play with 10 men for half the game before their next fixture... against the Ukraine – oh... hang on a minute?! 

 

...Nahhh...

 

He also, as I recall, fucked over England against Russia in the Euro qualifiers... well – him and Owen.

 

...Hmmm...

 

Whoooo – sorry, I was off on one there, besides – our equaliser was probably offside... but then he blew up two minutes early when they were deflated and we in the ascendancy with a fitness advantage – I'm confused... maybe he's not 'on the take' and really is just a shit referee!?  It's a long shot - I know.

 

With all that travelling, being kicked and running about to scrape a result – I wouldn't be looking forward to facing Bolton at the weekend if I were one of the lads... shit as Bolton may be – they could certainly get something out of it if they take the game to us and 'get in our faces' from the off.

 

:-\

 

In other news It may come as a surprise to learn that Stan Kroenke is now on the board and Peter Lawwell (formerly of Celtic) has taken over the position that Dein used to hold?  You knew that already right?  No?  Hmmm... this is news isn't it? I mean - shit is going down and strange bedfellows are being made in order prevent the hostile takeover from Usmanov... anything? 

 

You don't wonder why the fat cunt doesn't just go and buy Newcastle and do us all a favour at all... ever?

 

Kroenke can fuck off an all.

 

Ahem - please allow me to introduce myself as it's probably about time and I realise that I often give off the impression to you northern shit-kickers that I'm a soft southern wanker...

 

I am Dogface – my heritage is varied... I am English, yes; and a southerner – I was born in Essex.  My mother was born and bred in Bolton – her mother, Liverpool and her father Irish/Liverpool import.  My mother never supported a football team, but my nan, on my mothers side, backed Liverpool all the way.  My granddad, also maternal, supported Bolton Wanderers as it was his local team after jacking in the Merchant Navy to settle down with my nan... he was nearly killed in the Bolton stadium disaster – he said he felt the crowd swaying – it didn't feel safe so he got out to get a pie - right after that shit hit the fan and a load of Bolton fans where he was standing got crushed to death.

 

My colleague dhjackel, who is proper pig-tickling Irish, reckons that Liverpool/Irish are a bunch of gypo's and all the decent ones settled in Manchester... I'll take his word for it.

I have no religion... although my mother remarried a first generation Irish/Welsh Catholic after my father left - and he made minor efforts to introduce us to idolatry until my father got wind of it and had one of his rare moments of 'input' as to our upbringing... maybe it's harsh on my father as, to be fair, when he did put his foot down it was because he cared... and, when she knew she was right, my mother was a woman whose opinion was impossible to sway.

 

His, my step fathers, family never really liked us... well – his father to be precise... and his sister and many brothers (Mary, Jim, Amon, Paddy and John) towed the line to varying degrees... although they were alright (Jim once bought us Wrexham FC shirts for Christmas to make sure we were 'brought up right') - families are complex things.  My mother picked up on it more than us and resented them, and him, on our behalf.  He was a violent man by all accounts and beat his wife and kids until he was too ill to move from his armchair.  I'll always remember their house with him in his chair next to the telly – it was full of pictures of the pope, plug-in glowing sacred heart Mary pictures and these crucifix things made out of what looked like dried grass... they also had a big scary black dog called Sam – but we got on just fine as I'd take him for walks and let him piss where he liked...

 

His brother John had a story about a football riot he was involved in - in which he saw an opposing fan take a kicking from some hooligans.  As he crawled off to seek medical attention he swiped his bloodied scarf as a souvenir and put it in pocket... he also took his own scarf off and hid it as lone fans wearing the wrong colours were taking beatings left right and centre... this was back in the hey day of soccer hooliganism.  He later got cornered by a group of angry opposition fans demanding to know which team he supported – he said he supported their team and when asked to prove it he remembered the scarf... but forgot which pocket it was in.  The story goes that he closed his eyes, took a guess, and to his relief - pulled out the bloodied souvenir – the hooligans slapped him on the back, apologised for the inconvenience as 'they had to check these things' and let him go.

 

Jim joined the police and was involved in policing the miners strike in the 80's... he can confirm that they were instructed to wind up the miners and cause trouble.  He said he saw officers burning money in front of men who couldn't afford to feed their families – also he suspected that some of the police presence there at the time were undercover heavies...

 

Amon dreamed of becoming a paramilitary – as a child he taught me how to tie a hangman's noose; I named my pet hedgehog after him.
 

My step father was excommunicated after he married my divorced mother against the pope's wishes... I can't believe that the pope gave it much thought – eventually, after many letters to the Vatican they came round... but – it was too late for him, in terms of his faith, by then.

 

My mother and my step father since drifted apart and he now lives in Spain – we haven't spoken as my mother told him not to contact us when he left – and since then she has died.  My mother was a very strong woman, the type who always knew best and was absolutely annoyingly right 99% of the time.  She raised us, furthered her education and held down a job, as a single parent, before she met my step father... she taught us from an early age to hate Margret Thatcher and all she stood for - I used to tease her that she was a 'hard line liberal'... she became a councillor, championed the arts and held the position as head mistress of an under-privileged infants school – which she turned around to be one of the best schools in the borough.  She said I had my granddads Irish temper and his ability to fix anything mechanical... she dealt with a lot of children from all over the world in her school and they all had their own particular genetic and cultural heritage to carry... but she managed to get them all singing together nevertheless... they wouldn't dare do otherwise!

 

My father came from god knows where (the coastal town that they forgot to close down) and his father... I don't know either as he died when my dad was 16.  I do know he was a wing commander in the air force and involved in the Freemasons – luckily for my dad he wasn't the eldest son so it was never passed on to us.  My dad was a biker and, by all accounts, never made plans to live past 40 – after surviving unscathed from numerous bike accidents he grew up and joined the council as a public health inspector and never took a backhander in his life... he has many stories to tell about east end gangsters, cash laundering curry houses and once he played rat-cricket when he fumigated a nest out the back of a Jamaican Pattie house – the boys in the shop came out with cricket bats and it was game on to whack the fleeing rats with England Vs West Indies – the West Indies won with 17 rats to 12.

 

My dad remarried a woman from Wales and had two more kids... originally she lived very near from where my step father came from in Wrexham – although when he met her she was living in East Ham.  It's strange how things work out... they both live in the Isle of Man now and he has reacquainted himself with his love of motorcycles and lovingly restores them instead of tuning them to destruction and riding them through chip-shop windows and hedges.  He never had much to do with football, he was always a rugby man and followed the Welsh all his life – frequently going on tour with the boyos... there are many stories to tell there too.

 

His mother, my grandmother is the mystery... she kept her history from us all as a shameful guarded secret.  The latest theory is that she was an orphan imported during the rise of Nazi Germany... a charity case - possibly the unwanted bastard child of a Slavic/Judeo tryst.  We shall never really know as she buried it too deeply... but the traces are there to see in all our faces and we as her decedents carry the secret, whatever it is, as a part of our genetic heritage.  She was a very talented tennis player in her youth and eventually remarried a rich South African (old money), who hated South Africa, apartheid, his family and moved out to go on cruises live in the Isle of Man with my paternal gran... he too was of Irish decent and his family were one of the founders of Trinity College Dublin.  I remember at his funeral one of his more odious nephews proclaiming, in regards to our 'breeding': "there goes another mongrel!"... sparking that cunt out there and then was no more than he deserved – but might have put a downer on the day - or raised a chuckle from the grave. 

 

He cut them all out of 'the inheritance' and left them only a silver tea set and some family portraits... which they could only claim after my grandmother's death.  He knew how to wind them up!  He also left a substantial charity trust fund to promote rugby in the townships, build pitches and buy kit – that sort of thing. 

 

After my gran died my dad polished the tea set on the inside so if they did ever raise a drink to him from it – it would leave a bitter taste in their mouths... he would have liked that I think.

So call me white, call me English, call me soft, call me southern... I honestly don't give a fuck.

 

I am DogFace, one of life's windblown apple trees, cross pollinated and sprouting here in London through no choice of my own - and for the purposes of this blog, I am Arsenal.

We hate it when our friends become successful...

I know - I can't believe it either... 0-4 away at Blackburn – of course a lot of this was down to the fact that the Mark Hughes physical style of footie against teams that can 'play a bit' was entirely in absence. I think a lot of this was down to the Walcott factor – and Wenger played it very well by:

• Realising that a post hat trick Walcott being issued with his 'golden bollocks' by the media hyenas was an absolutely massive service to Arsenal (hence his immediate pay rise negotiations I assume).
• Milking it for all it was worth prior to going 'up north' for two tricky away fixtures.

Nice one Wenger – you is getting savvier by the season init... although the absolute necessity for constructive cynicism and complicit 'spin' of this type is a sad reflection on the game as whole I feel.

Firstly I'm going to bang on about Eboue for a bit – he had another great game, he was getting involved and shooting from outside the box (for all you cunts who moan about us over passing it) and he even won us a penalty. I will make it clear that it wasn't a 'dive' – and the 'Aresnal fans' who again slagged him off as a dirty, divey, hacky bastard who's not fit to wear the shirt as he was carried off the field, are a disgrace. He was clearly caught while attacking the opposition's penalty area with full pace and commitment... what more do you want from him? I am aware that it didn't help that the commentator proclaimed 'clearly a dive' before the replay and then mumbled something about that he might have caught him but he went down easily... etc.

Idiots... they even booed him for diving when he nutmeged that Blackburn twat and got blocked off from yet another attack!? He's on our side and is currently playing his heart out for the team despite the 'fans' – so give him a chance. It was just after the nutmeg incident that promoted the chorus of "Same old Arsenal - Always cheating" to be sung by the Blackburn fans in a near identical replay of the game against Fulham... to be honest - that's fucking rich coming from the Blackburn supporters after the amount of times they've hoofed us off the pitch in recent encounters!

Now onto the golden child... it seems that he has indeed 'stepped up' to the next level from the clumsy adolescent fumblings of yester season to the confident, skilful and oft 'forced' penetration of the opposition box. Is the boy a man? It certainly looked that way against Blackburn, brim full of confidence and safe from the malicious raking studs and the dead leggers of this game – he played a blinder! The most noteworthy moment was when he ran up to Adebayor after he scored his first goal to help him celebrate... now it was noteworthy as the rest of the team didn't seem all that happy for Ade and because Theo was all 'you da man' and backslappy with pseudo aggressive 'lets go fuck these boys' posturing in a 'I am your equal' kind of way... if you know what I mean. Theo obviously regards himself as 'ready' i.e. the equal of anyone on the pitch and I can only assume that this is because Wenger has told him as much.

And as of Adebayor... well – he replied to Theo with aplomb... you may have got a hat trick for your country sonny – but just you remember who the daddy is around here... yeah?

It is the competition that drives us and the abstract metaphysic of the rules that make the challenge tangible and enjoyable from participant to spectator.

Nice one Ade – a few more of those please...

...RvP also looks to be finding some form too; I'd give him until January before he properly catches fire... that is if he can avoid injury!

*Dogface News*

On a personal note I had a bizarre experience on Sunday... well – no, was it bizarre? Celebrities, and the notion of such entities, are bizarre and this was the bizarrest of celebrities and, incidentally, one of my comedy heroes... I was at some kiddies playground, a nice one that Claire found in North London – it's got woods around it and squirrels, and there are never any used needles, dead tramps or dog shit in the wendy-house and all that good stuff. Well – Sophia was playing about on this climbing frame with some lad and the lad was quite friendly little chap telling us about how fast his new triners made him run and showing us his plastic alien figure which had a sort of cabbage head with teeth in it – his name was Brian… the alien – not the kid. Well they were playing quite nicely (some kids can be little shits and will bully/mug your kid as soon as your back is turned) so, satisfied that he was alright - I gave Sophia a sandwich and turned to leave them to it when I heard a familiar booming voice from the other side of the climbing frame:

"How up kiddo, what you doing up there then - I'm going to eat yer feet yer little monkey, GRRragh!"

It was something about the word 'monkey' that I recognised... you know – that advert... I could only see his torso as the kids were in the way – he was short, slightly scruffy and very course and northern... could this be the dad of the entirely well mannered middle class kid playing with Sophia?

Sophia replied:

"Nooo… no you won't"

To whit the stranger replied:

"Oh yes I will, I'm going to munch them up just like you're munching on that jam buttie!"

As Sophia moved, in genuine fear of being eaten by a hungry 'grotesque' northerner, I could see that Johnny Vegas had just threatened to bite my daughters' feet off and was making a pretend foot-gnawing face.

Bizarre... still – it's true what they say about the camera adding 20 pounds as he didn't look that fat; but then again – he was wearing black.

I live in a land of class hypocrisy; we’re going to win the National Lottery...

"Okay, now some of this may sound stupid to some of you guys but I want you to hear me out. Now look, you know different people think about life in different ways. Lawyers think life is a big court room; Doctors probably thinks life is like a big operation; Bus drivers think life is...er...a big bus I guess. Who knows what the hell those guys think. Anyway, I've always thought of life as a big football game..."

 

Some might say that in Andorra; England didn't try very hard... others might say that it was a nice little inside earner (and a favour to the bookies) to play a bunch of plumbers and let them keep a first half clean sheet before finishing it in the second by only 2 goals – others might say that a walk in the park in Barcelona was good tactics in order to keep something in the bag in the run up to the crucial match against Croatia.

 

Personally, I think it was a bit of all three, England's 'three lions' roared corruption, courage and calculation.  The match against Andorra was bollocks, we all know it, we all saw it – although, to be fair, dhjackal and I second guessed it and coined it in on the massive amount of 'mug money' that flies around on every England match – cheers mugs, we got odds of 8 on our HT/FT against your 2!

 

Last nights match against Croatia, on the other hand, was always going to be a different story... it was clearly in everyone's best interests that England turned up yesterday.  Make no mistake – England in the The World Cup is an uber-majassive pay day for ALL concerned. England not in the World cup is just a fucking disaster for the bookies, the breweries, the replica shirt manufactures, the squad (corrupt, courageous and calculating) – oh yes, and the fans of course!

 

So... much like one of those vomit inducing 'team motivational' posters that you find on the walls of middle management offices which are aimed more at their 'superiors' as an token of their personal ambition rather than being aimed at their 'inferiors' as an inspiration to achieve... England on this rare occasion all 'pulled together as a team', all determined to punish Croatia, each for their own individual reasons, by their own very specific means - and each to the same ends... to win.

 

The result?

 

Well - I lost half of the money I won on the Andorra match... and Croatia got smashed by England 1-4.  The difference yesterday was clearly Theo Walcott... but how can I hold it against him for slashing my hard fought stack down to size with his 3 aces?  He's Arsenal init!

 

Check out the numbers:

• Three shots on target
• Three goals scored
• Two free kicks won
• Sixteen out of twenty passes complete (one of these incomplete passes should have resulted in a penalty for Heskey so it could have been 17/20 with 1 assist.)

The boy was on fire... proper – but I do worry about him mixing with the likes of certain murky players in the England squad – he's young, naïve and impressionable – his boyhood hero was Michael Owen FFS!?  Thankfully, he now sees Thierry Henry as a footballing role model... and I hope he has the strength of character and good upbringing not to tread the shadier path of the game – he could be the Skywalker to Wenger's Yoda:

 

Strong is the dark side - when a ball at your feet you have - of your broker, think not, you must young Walcott!

 

Of course the main benefit of Walcott becoming the new squeaky clean wonder boy saviour in an England shirt for Arsenal is thus:

 

We will have a stick to beat back all the lying spin about Arsenal 'destroying the English game'.

 

Walcott will become a premiership untouchable is so far as that if Harry Shitkicker from Shitbury FC decides he's going to 'hoof Arsenal off the ball' he will have at the back of his mind the knowledge that the knives will be out for him in the morning papers if he causes an injury... the mobs will be out, faces a painted, if the injury is a more serious one and deliberate... think what Martin Taylor would have got if he had done to Rooney what he did to Eduardo?  I'm talking effigies, flames and lamp posts here instead of the 'sympathy' and messages of support... sadly – that's the difference between a foreigner and an Englishman regardless of how good they are on the pitch.

 

The above also goes to the referee's if they don't give him adequate protection... so all eyes on Walcott!

 

To be fair to Croatia though 1-4 wasn't a true reflection of the match and it was the straight red that killed it for them... from that point on it was game over.  Was it a red offence?  I dunno – it's hard to tell – I'm so confused about decisions that don't know what a straight red offence is anymore!?  I think the claret spurting from Joe Cole swayed the decision – but in the replay it didn't look that bad – I mean, he got the ball and decided to leave his elbow in for Cole and caught him a beauty... a definite yellow (or second yellow), not so sure about the straight red.  Although if this offence is now a straight red offence then that suits me as an Arsenal fan as we get the rough end of it week in week out in the premiership.

 

In retrospect, and it's always easier that way, this was always going to be a flip of a coin match... and I should have stayed away.  The problem was that I got on it early as the position, to me, looked favourable.  Later though – as the papers, pundits and the tipsters were hinting at an England loss/draw and trying to spread the cash about a bit - I knew that I had possibly made a bad investment.

 

Ce-la-vie... you live you learn!

And I'll tell it and think it and speak it and breathe it

[05/09/2008 09:30:46] DogFace says: So - Man-City - the new gods of football?!
[05/09/2008 09:30:46] DogFace says: Who'd have thought it?
[05/09/2008 09:30:47] dhjackal says: bigger than Arsenal
[05/09/2008 09:31:00] DogFace says: Hey - bigger than Real Madrid and Manchester United
[05/09/2008 09:31:08] dhjackal says: not United
[05/09/2008 09:31:09] DogFace says: Ohh - way bigger than you...
[05/09/2008 09:31:15] DogFace says: ...and Barcelona.
[05/09/2008 09:31:22] dhjackal says: more money doesn't = bigger
[05/09/2008 09:31:36] DogFace says: It does in the new football!
[05/09/2008 09:31:31] dhjackal says: more ambition than you
[05/09/2008 09:31:38] dhjackal says: more money than us
[05/09/2008 09:31:42] dhjackal says: nothing else
[05/09/2008 09:31:47] DogFace says: Apparently money = ambition.
[05/09/2008 09:32:01] dhjackal says: Signings = ambition
[05/09/2008 09:32:04] DogFace says: Same thing - more money, more influence.
[05/09/2008 09:32:15] dhjackal says: better players = better team
[05/09/2008 09:32:20] dhjackal says: anyway
[05/09/2008 09:32:26] dhjackal says: we've got Berbatov
[05/09/2008 09:33:57] DogFace says: Yeah - for over 30 fecking million!! What does it matter - pretty soon Man-u will not be allowed to win anything.
[05/09/2008 09:34:02] dhjackal says: whatever
[05/09/2008 09:34:11] dhjackal says: (finger)
[05/09/2008 09:35:38] DogFace says: (chuckle)
[05/09/2008 09:36:49] DogFace says: Get used to it - the future for you is City and Scouse fans crowing about silverwear and taking the piss!
[05/09/2008 09:36:52] DogFace says: (rofl)
[05/09/2008 09:37:00] DogFace says: Let me know how it feels mate!
[05/09/2008 09:37:18] dhjackal says: you already know
[05/09/2008 09:37:24] dhjackal says: i do it to you all the time
[05/09/2008 09:37:27] dhjackal says: how does it feel?
[05/09/2008 09:37:29] DogFace says: Exactly!!!
[05/09/2008 09:37:48] DogFace says: It feels like you are a sad deluded loser - and you'll be thinking the same way as I do soon enough...
[05/09/2008 09:38:06] DogFace says: ...when you realise that football isn't football any more!
[05/09/2008 09:39:48] dhjackal says: not when your losing it's not
[05/09/2008 09:48:22] dhjackal says: so
[05/09/2008 09:49:23] dhjackal says: where do your beloved god fairing never cheating Arsenal live in this new world of yours
[05/09/2008 09:49:48] DogFace says: In the UEFA cup probably.
[05/09/2008 09:49:55] dhjackal says: good luck
[05/09/2008 09:42:37] DogFace says: Cheers - we'll have a great time; have we signed Stephen Appiah yet?
[05/09/2008 09:43:49] dhjackal says: ?
[05/09/2008 09:44:30] DogFace says: Arsene Wenger's magic, he wears a magic hat, and when he saw Appiah, he said I'm having that!
[05/09/2008 09:44:54] DogFace says: He's a free agent now... and we've been sniffing around him for yonks init!
[05/09/2008 09:45:46] dhjackal says: didn't he play for Gillingham?
[05/09/2008 09:45:59] DogFace says: Juventus and Fenerbahçe (or however you spell it).
[05/09/2008 09:46:29] dhjackal says: he sounds good
[05/09/2008 09:46:58] DogFace says: He would be a great signing to jack up the midfield... and we could sign him and still make close to 4 million profit in the transfer window!
[05/09/2008 09:49:38] dhjackal says: great
[05/09/2008 09:49:42] dhjackal says: (clap)
[05/09/2008 09:50:24] DogFace says: Ha - The Telegraph have just done the story - 1 hour ago: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/football/leagues/premierleague/arsenal/2686487/Arsenal-to-revive-Stephen-Appiah-interest---Football.html
[05/09/2008 09:50:52] dhjackal says: is he dead?
[05/09/2008 09:51:12] DogFace says: Yeah - we are going to revive him...
[05/09/2008 09:51:22] DogFace says: ...he's going to be a midfield zombie!
[05/09/2008 09:51:29] dhjackal says: he's that bad that a two bob Turkish side don't want him
[05/09/2008 09:51:34] dhjackal says: it's embarressing
[05/09/2008 09:51:37] DogFace says: Aahh haha...
[05/09/2008 09:51:43] DogFace says: ...that shows what you know!

The day the music died

Where do I start... and where can I start?

I'll start with the game on Saturday... it was a confusing affair in so much as Rob Styles (in partnership with Howard Webb as the 4th official) didn't rob us blind - now those two names are enough to strike 'the fear' into most informed fans asking around "who's ref" and checking the back of the match-day programme during the warm up... and it was so with me. However - after a denied penalty (of which I expected to be denied) things took a turn our way in terms of decisions - was this a fair match or was Styles on our side? We even got a penalty for handball - what the fuck's going on?!? I couldn't tell... I suspect that once it became clear that Owen didn't have his scoring boots on that day they just let it go... cheers Owen for getting out of position, playing yourself offside and especially for the slapstick routine in front of goal - don't give up your day job eh... oh - on second thoughts do! It could be that there were no agendas being played out through the decisions of the officials... but no – it was Webb and Styles, something must have been going down – I just can't figure out what.

We played well and it was a great atmosphere in general - the singing was picking up a bit and their was a notable absence of boos for Adebayor... you all saw the game so what more can I say RvP opened his account, Nasri looked great again and showed us that he had a little fire in him with the Barton encounter after Jailbird Barton went in with a 'welcome to the premiership' tackle which could have, quite frankly, gone either way. One disappointment was that the home crowd weren't a bit more creative in terms of the piss taking - boo's and jeers are one thing (I suspect he's the type who loves being the pantomime villain) but what would have been better would have been 55,000 voices enquiring in unison if he got 'fucked in the showers'... try playing it all cool and moody to that if you can!

At half time the camera panned to Mike Ashley downing a pint in 1 - I immediately found a steward and pointed to the screen and requested that he be ejected from the ground... he just laughed - but I was serious... it's one rule for one and one rule for another - it's ok, he's rich - let him flout the rules that we, the home fans, have to abide by on pain of removal for the ground. On that note - free beers (and other alcoholic beverages) are freely available in club level during Champions League fixtures but absent from pleb level... why is that? Oh yeah - if there was no free beer up there then nobody would turn up!

Nicky Butt re-enforced my opinion that he is a talentless shit-kicking cunt throughout the match - if Eboue hadn't been taken off when he did I reckon he would have given it some back... and probably got sent off in the process - thus incurring the misplaced wrath of the fan-base once more. Eboue had a great match and I reiterate my hope that he is indeed going to go and silence his critics this season.

I could go through and praise individual and team performance - but let's face facts... we were playing Newcastle and they are shit. All praise to Gallas who showed what it is to be a captain by getting in Keegan's face as he tried to bollock Nasri... Keegan looked old, like an old tramp... and confused. Also fair play to Eboue for consoling the rather startled Keegan as he helped him find his way back down the tunnel – at the time I fondly imagined him sticking the boot in with Gallas and Nasri 'clockwork orange' style and nicking his pension-book and can of 'White Ace' cider when out of sight of the cameras.

So - now I've started; where do I finish?

It's been a funny few days in the world of the funny old game... Sky Sports News were informing me every five minutes that Kevin Keegan may or may not have been sacked, and, in the same breath letting me know the odds that SkyBet were offering on his replacement. There were interviews with disillusioned toons carefully picked from the many available by the producer to match the Sky agenda of how they were playing the story and what they believe the fans should be thinking:

"We all knew Kevin would go and Wise would take over when Wise came in" - says one as we are informed in the right hand window that Wise was odds-on on Skybet.

"We need some of that there oil money" - exclaims another.

"Ashley out!" - chant a group.

It reminded me of the kind of media that is spun up when a shit film comes out that is universally slated by the critics and they want to sell it somehow... so they collar some pissed-up tossers leaving the cinema and poke a camera in their face and ask "so how good was the film then? You'll get on telly!" in the hope acquiring an unguarded beer-pickled soundbite that can be broadcast under the guise of 'see the film that everyone is talking about' (cue anecdote).

Anecdotal opinion is this context is always cherry picked and therefore utterly worthless.

Up until deadline day Toon dreams were as misplaced as City dreams... alas City did get the 'oil money'.

"40 years of loyalty are about to be repaid" - wanks Gallagher.

"On the last day, Chelsea made me a great proposal and I accepted it" - splutters Robinho.

"You mean Manchester right?" - corrects a reporter.

"Yeah, Manchester, sorry!" - answers Robinho (do you think he knew it was City and not United?).

"Robinho needs counselling after rejecting Chelsea for Man City" - reckons Pele... but what the fuck does Pele know about 'English' football – I also remember him saying: "I like Butt" *fnar fnar* during some failed England campaign or other...

"Are you a supporter of Manchester City?" – Enquires a reporter.

"I… err – oh yes I support them now of course" – Remembers Al-Fahim that it was a team called 'Manchester City' that his outfit bought and makes a mental note to remember that name in future. If I was the reporter I would have asked him to name 3 current players rather than letting him reel off a shopping list of 'big names' off the top of his head...

So it's clear then, in case you didn't know – the shit club that nobody gives a shit about has just won the lottery and is now surrounded by sycophants just itching for a slice of the 'bottomless pit of cash'. Thaskin whored them out, as predicted, but they got the Richard Gear/Pretty Woman 'trick' of their dreams.

Mark Hughes bangs on about how jealous we all are... well the toons certainly displayed 'envy' but not jealousy; but I doubt that anyone, not even Keegan, would be envious of Mark Hughes' position as manager. Shall we have a sweepstake as to when he get replaced by someone decent? Keep your head down son and you may get a job cleaning the bogs in the away end when the dust settles on this one.

As an Arsenal fan things look particularly bleak... let me explain – ADUG buys City and spunk as much cash and influence into 'winning' something as they can... DIC, not to be outdone, will snap up Liverpool and do the same... ADUG and DIC have great fun with their shiny new toys in what is essentially a 'who has the biggest cock' competition.

Liverpool and Manchester City will now be the new 'Power Teams' in England... so – that leaves Chelsea and Manchester United to slug it out in terms of power and influence for what's left. That's the top four sewn up then... and it will have absolutely nothing to do with management, team or individual player performance.

"If manager wants then we buy them, 140 million - ok" – smarms Al-Fahim.

Arsenal will not win a thing... UEFA cup here we come and why? After all we have the best manager and we have the best team that combines among the best individual talent there is – but the real truth of the matter is that this has got nothing to do with the modern game.

Football isn't football anymore. Football has died. Football is broken!

On top of this The Joker informs me that the Uzbek manifestation of Jabba the Hutt is waiting to make his move and force a takeover of Arsenal.

Check him out: http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2007/nov/19/russia.football

Nice guy eh?

Anyway – the format is to shunt us into the realms of 'mid table' this season so we, as fans, demand (like the idiot toons on Sky Sports News) a bit of billionaire 'investment' to make our dreams come true! And you know what... I reckon it'll work – "at least we might win something now" the new breed will desperately cry as the last dregs of soul are ripped out of our game... they are missing the point!

This transfer window, by my reckoning, we made a profit of about three and a half million (thanks to Wenger knowing the true price of talent and our youth policy - with regards to sell-on clauses). Man City's have just announced that they are effectively scrapping their youth policy as surplus to requirements as you don't need to develop players when you can just buy them... so maybe in the future we will have a role to play in 'world football'. Maybe, if we don't take the Uzbek Sum we can transform ourselves into the best god damn 'selling club' there is!

After all anything is better than joining the soap opera of what is now termed 'football'... in this 'Global Phenomenon' it could be the only way to keep it relatively 'real'.

Until that day I will continue to go through the match day routine... I'll wear the scarf and sing the songs; but for me – it is the routine of one who visits a beloved old Alzheimers ridden uncle or grand parent. Every other week I'll pop in to say hello - the core fans will drift away, disillusioned or die leaving the empty seats left in the wake of their lost knowledge and history to be filled with the vacuous new breed of white collar clowns - I'll be there for the good times and bad while, barring a miricle cure, my team slowly forgets who I am... and indeed who they are themselves.

"And it's Ar-sen-al, Arsenal FC, we're BY FAR the Greatest Team... the world has ever seen..."