"Okay, now some of this may sound stupid to some of you guys but I want you to hear me out. Now look, you know different people think about life in different ways. Lawyers think life is a big court room; Doctors probably thinks life is like a big operation; Bus drivers think life is...er...a big bus I guess. Who knows what the hell those guys think. Anyway, I've always thought of life as a big football game..."
Some might say that in Andorra; England didn't try very hard... others might say that it was a nice little inside earner (and a favour to the bookies) to play a bunch of plumbers and let them keep a first half clean sheet before finishing it in the second by only 2 goals – others might say that a walk in the park in Barcelona was good tactics in order to keep something in the bag in the run up to the crucial match against Croatia.
Personally, I think it was a bit of all three, England's 'three lions' roared corruption, courage and calculation. The match against Andorra was bollocks, we all know it, we all saw it – although, to be fair, dhjackal and I second guessed it and coined it in on the massive amount of 'mug money' that flies around on every England match – cheers mugs, we got odds of 8 on our HT/FT against your 2!
Last nights match against Croatia, on the other hand, was always going to be a different story... it was clearly in everyone's best interests that England turned up yesterday. Make no mistake – England in the The World Cup is an uber-majassive pay day for ALL concerned. England not in the World cup is just a fucking disaster for the bookies, the breweries, the replica shirt manufactures, the squad (corrupt, courageous and calculating) – oh yes, and the fans of course!
So... much like one of those vomit inducing 'team motivational' posters that you find on the walls of middle management offices which are aimed more at their 'superiors' as an token of their personal ambition rather than being aimed at their 'inferiors' as an inspiration to achieve... England on this rare occasion all 'pulled together as a team', all determined to punish Croatia, each for their own individual reasons, by their own very specific means - and each to the same ends... to win.
The result?
Well - I lost half of the money I won on the Andorra match... and Croatia got smashed by England 1-4. The difference yesterday was clearly Theo Walcott... but how can I hold it against him for slashing my hard fought stack down to size with his 3 aces? He's Arsenal init!
Check out the numbers:
- Three shots on target
- Three goals scored
- Two free kicks won
- Sixteen out of twenty passes complete (one of these incomplete passes should have resulted in a penalty for Heskey so it could have been 17/20 with 1 assist.)
The boy was on fire... proper – but I do worry about him mixing with the likes of certain murky players in the England squad – he's young, naïve and impressionable – his boyhood hero was Michael Owen FFS!? Thankfully, he now sees Thierry Henry as a footballing role model... and I hope he has the strength of character and good upbringing not to tread the shadier path of the game – he could be the Skywalker to Wenger's Yoda:
Strong is the dark side - when a ball at your feet you have - of your broker, think not, you must young Walcott!
Of course the main benefit of Walcott becoming the new squeaky clean wonder boy saviour in an England shirt for Arsenal is thus:
We will have a stick to beat back all the lying spin about Arsenal 'destroying the English game'.
Walcott will become a premiership untouchable is so far as that if Harry Shitkicker from Shitbury FC decides he's going to 'hoof Arsenal off the ball' he will have at the back of his mind the knowledge that the knives will be out for him in the morning papers if he causes an injury... the mobs will be out, faces a painted, if the injury is a more serious one and deliberate... think what Martin Taylor would have got if he had done to Rooney what he did to Eduardo? I'm talking effigies, flames and lamp posts here instead of the 'sympathy' and messages of support... sadly – that's the difference between a foreigner and an Englishman regardless of how good they are on the pitch.
The above also goes to the referee's if they don't give him adequate protection... so all eyes on Walcott!
To be fair to Croatia though 1-4 wasn't a true reflection of the match and it was the straight red that killed it for them... from that point on it was game over. Was it a red offence? I dunno – it's hard to tell – I'm so confused about decisions that don't know what a straight red offence is anymore!? I think the claret spurting from Joe Cole swayed the decision – but in the replay it didn't look that bad – I mean, he got the ball and decided to leave his elbow in for Cole and caught him a beauty... a definite yellow (or second yellow), not so sure about the straight red. Although if this offence is now a straight red offence then that suits me as an Arsenal fan as we get the rough end of it week in week out in the premiership.
In retrospect, and it's always easier that way, this was always going to be a flip of a coin match... and I should have stayed away. The problem was that I got on it early as the position, to me, looked favourable. Later though – as the papers, pundits and the tipsters were hinting at an England loss/draw and trying to spread the cash about a bit - I knew that I had possibly made a bad investment.
Ce-la-vie... you live you learn!
