Stone the crows – I didn't see that one coming... Newcastle relegated? Well I did wonder after the Spiderman robbed them of a point against Fulham if something might be up.
It was a horrible moment when I heard that Owen had come on... i.e. this could now go two ways – Owen scores and becomes the darling of the press (*boo*) and Hull and Phil Brown go down (*yay*) – or Owen somehow fails to score (*yay*) and 'someone' makes a packet on the Asian black markets (*boo*) and Newcastle go down (*Hmm...*) and Hull stay up while the theme tune running through "I'm a celebrity manager get me out of here" Phil 'the clown' Brown's head breaks forth to his lips as the final whistle blows (*boo*).
Lose/lose for me... too many cooks (or crooks) spoil the nail-biting fairytale... talking of which – at least EuroVision is honest now – it's just a shame that Europe has absolutely no musical taste whatsoever but that's democracy for ya.
Chelsea had better win the Fuck-All cup now to bump up my profit margin a bit!
Anyhoo... let's have a cosy chat about the Stoke match because there is something I want to get off my chest here right. Before the match kicked off Tony Pulis had a pop at Arsenal fans and said they were spoiled (translation: 'soft southern bastards') – and he's right, I've been saying it for ages; there is an element of the fanbase who can just fuck off as they shouldn't be there – they pollute the atmosphere and taint the voice of the crowd with pessimism and whinging bollocks. Example, a creative and excellent move breaks down:
"Noo no no – Bentner you cunt get in the box"
Some shit-kicker goes through one of our players, studs up while the referee looks the other way:
"Stand up to him Denilson you're like fucking Bambi"
Some quality passing play in an attempt to break down the standard 'anti-football' of 10 men behind the ball and defend for a draw played by most teams who come to Dubaibury:
"shoooot sssSSSHHHHOOOOTTTT – just fucking hoof it!!"
You get the picture... we have a young team and they need encouragement yeah – like raising kids, it's all about positive reinforcement for good deeds done – not taking it all for granted and slagging off every mistake... but that's beside the point.
Tony Pulis can fuck off – who does that cunt think he is criticising Arsenal fans? Keep your fucking Stoke nose out of it Pulis! You don't see Wenger on TV stating that all Stoke fans are dirty, screeching, meat-headed, ignorant shit-kicking animals do you? No – that's because, as Pulis pointed out, Wenger has class.
Let me tell thee a story about the big brave Stoke fans on Sunday – they gathered en-mass before the game and marched past the home fans pubs in the area punching and bottling people randomly. Now this was BEFORE the match when the families were out – not AFTER the match when the Herd are ready to respond in kind. I was outside the Herbert Chapman when a crowd outnumbering us over 20-1 marched through us shoving, spilling beer, wind-up chanting and shouting obscenities – nobody responded as it was mostly friends and family fans outside. They then surrounded us and started throwing beer cans and bottles while some of the Stoke support waded in and landed a few punches at people who were looking the other way at the time. I was particularly amazed that, men in their 40's and 50's were actually taking some kind of pleasure out of punching women... the lashing out at the man trying to escape carrying his terrified six year old daughter was also as example of the class and courage of your typical stoke fan.
The cops turned up and they did a runner... a runner around the block stopping only to gather missiles so they could appear behind the crowd of the before game family and friends crowd again and pelt the shit out of them.
After the match – when the Herd had a visible presence and a sentry with a mobile on every corner... they decided to wait for the coach to pick them up from the stadium and go straight home.
Until now I had always considered the phrase 'wife beating northern bastard' to be an outmoded stereotype... alas – in Stoke – it seems it is the norm.
Cheers Pulis – your ill conceived outburst got a few women and kids bottled by the cowardly repressed violent misogynistic Stella swilling closet queers you call 'fans', nice one. Cunt.
The game itself was quite fun – the Stoke lot got the piss properly taken out of them and the spoilt children were mostly drowned out by the proper fans. Wenger got a good reception and it was a good win – what more can I say? Oh yes – I managed to start a chant going for the first time ever which was nice too... and there was a great moment when Stoke tried to string together a few passes and we cheered each random and uncreative effort before it broke down after 5 passes and we got possession again... at which point we all went 'ooohh'.
My favourite game by far this season was the Carling Cup match against Sheffield – it was honest and passionate... and we saw the potential of some players who you know will make a difference in the future... the rest – well, it was pretty much spoiled by the corrupting influences that have taken over this game – the 'negative environment' as Wenger politically calls it. Maybe next season will be different? Better? Or worse?
Oh and as for tonight – well... I'm going to steer clear – but if I really HAD to then I would go with Barcelona on penalties with Ronaldo skying his into row Z and then an extreme close up of him on his knees crying (so I can happily imagine all the fucking plastic glory hunting manc scum from anywhere but manc-land staring at their telly's going 'Why, Ronnie Why – boo hoo hoo').
A fan can dream... a fan can dream.
