Cold lampin’ with flavor

It may sound strange to say that an injury to David Villa was the best thing that could happen to the Spanish – but it was. Until that point Spain were attacking but being taken care of and basically running out of ideas... I've heard a lot from Arsenal fans about why Fabregas isn't selected for Spain – the reason is political. He hails from Catalonia, a region of Spain right up in the corner that is a principality in its own right – wiki/Google up the history of Catalonian autonomy if you are interested – or have a gander of Orwell's 'Homage to Catalonia' (available from most good bookshops). Middle Spain doesn't trust the Catalonians and middle Catalonia certainly doesn't trust the Spanish... in fact some players have stated that they will refuse to wear the Spanish shirt... although – to be honest the politically influenced 'nationalism' in the team selection would probably deny them the opportunity anyway.

Things are getting better though and through a degree of tokenism (that and their undeniable brilliance) the football mad Catalonians are making it into the squad, up steps Cesc Fabregas, willing to wear the shirt and eager to play international football. For his troubles he gets a place in the team and on the bench with the opportunity to be called into play when the Spanish team needs a miracle... or a fall guy. You will notice that he was given the important penalty against Italy – this was not down to any respect for his ability (as, until that moment, he had not taken a penalty since he was 15) this was because if anyone were to take the blame for Spain not getting to the semi-finals it would be a Catalan... despite the fact that it was the efforts of the same Catalan in that match that got them into the position to knock Italy out in the first place.

Fabregas stepped up, took the poison chalice, and scored... middle Spain what say you now?

Middle Spain, it seemed, remained in denial and left him on the bench again against Russia... Villa got injured and on came Cesc, yet again, as the potential fall guy. Yet again he stepped up to the challenge and yet again he ran the show with a sublime performance that nobody in middle Spain could deny. So what are this morning's Spanish papers saying about this Catalonian who is out there living and fulfilling the adolescent dreams of the conservative centre right - and proving himself 100% worthy of the respect that he is due in every challenge that is laid before him? I would really love to know – are popular opinions changing over there?

Let's hope we see Fabregas start in the final against Germany... he's the stone cold fuckin' nuts and everyone with half a brain knows it.

Still one thing bothers me about the Spanish side that hadn't struck me until last night – like Germany; they too looked almost too comfortable in their fitness levels for the amount of matches they have played...

...One thing's for sure though, with both teams still relatively fresh and everything to play for - It's going to be a cracker of a final!

*Adebayor news*

To quote:

"When I was young I had a dream to be a good footballer and play for a big team," - Adebayor

"I was born in Togo so I never cared about playing for money, my happiness was to play to enjoy myself. That's what I've been doing until now." - Adebayor

"You can see people changing clubs because of money, because they want a change of atmosphere or to get their names in the big leagues. I just play football to enjoy myself. I play because I love it." – Adebayor

"We all have the same ideas and we all want to achieve something. We have a good boss which is Arsene Wenger. He tries to bring this atmosphere to the dressing room where we feel like brothers and like family." – Adebayor

"Those are the reasons that give us a chance to play the football we play. We play good football, now we look forward to winning trophies." – Adebayor

Nuff said – I hope that's clear enough for you Vincenzo, now crawl back to your fucking hole. Ade - I fucking love you for paying us back with loyalty for our faith... for those with a short memory (and there are a few) this is the SECOND time he has come out and publicly stated that he's going nowhere.

I'm now officially happy.

:-)

But my words, like silent raindrops fell

What a match eh!? Even the missus was glued to the set in anticipation... manly because she was anticipating scenario where we were going to be in for another night of 'Tottenhamesque' premature celebration and fireworks by the local Turkish community if they made it to the final.

Last night my family and I slept as the broken hearted shuffled their way home in silence... unlucky Turkey - you so nearly got extra time.

In a way I'm going to miss the beserkergang antics of the Turkish team, they just kept on coming, especially after their obviously inspirational and very special half time 'talks'... and refreshments.

The German team confuses me – they, like the Russians, are showing a levels of fitness and endurance that do not make sense – they kept coming and it seemed like they were in control and knew that they could score at any time – even in the final minutes of the match I was in little doubt that they would win... yet they are unwilling to kill off matches like these. Are they keeping a low profile and doing just enough to scrape on by to the final? Whatever it is they are up to it's working... and - like the Russians - they look, quite bizarrely, to be hitting their peak of physical fitness for the final game... unbelievable!

What's the secret... an effervescent Barocca tablet with their breakfast porridge perhaps? Or is it maybe something else?

For a laugh Google "aranesp" and "sport" – although it's not much of a laugh I'll grant you... Oh - and while you are there look up "perftoran".

* ARSENAL NEWS *

Is Arsene having a laugh... he surely is – it is a well know scam by agents that linking the player that they represent with 'interest from Arsenal' can bump up their value... 98.7% of agents are scum. It is also well known that certain managers will try and 'snipe' potential signings from under our noses, in an 'ebay style', if they get the whiff that we are about to swoop. This has led to Wenger playing his cards fairly close to his chest until deals have been done. However – recently Arsene gave an interview in which he 'bigged up' Andrei Arshavin... this after stating that he was 'taking his chequebook to Euro 2008' with a mind to 'spend big'.

Yeah right.

Arsenal have a network of scouts and the brief 'shop window' of opportunity that is the Euro 2008 competition will not provide the kind of information that any sensible manager can use to make a decision on a transfer... however – it is one in which you can sow a few nuggets of disinformation for those with more wallet than nous.

Let's take a look at some of today's rumours:

"Arsenal are lining up a move for Liverpool striker Peter Crouch as a replacement for Barcelona target Emmanuel Adebayor." - Daily Mirror

This reminds me of the Michael Owen rumour last season – why would we sign someone whose major talent is being born a cruel, spindly freak of fucking nature... please no! He certainly couldn't 'replace' Adebayor... he's not even close – I wouldn't trust him to clean his boots.

"Zenit St Petersburg have confirmed Barcelona have made a formal approach for Russia midfielder Andrei Arshavin" - Setanta Sports

So... Barcelona want Fabregas, Hleb, Adebayor and now a post 'big-uppage' Arshavin? How much money are they thinking of spending? You know, I can't help thinking that, now Rijkaard has gone, the one signing that they really want to make is Arsene himself...

"A deal to bring Adebayor to AC Milan is "70-80%" likely according to Italian agent Vincenzo Morabito." - Various

Vincenzo Morabito you are a fucking prick, why not show some class you money fucking leech and do what's best for the players you represent instead of shooting your mouth off to unsettle them and line your wallet?!

"the Gunners striker will stay at the Emirates Stadium if Arsenal treble his wages to £120,000." - The Sun

Oh right, I get it now - this has "Greedy, dirty, thieving Mr. 10%" scrawled all over it...

...Right – onto tonight's fixture:

Russia v Spain @ Vienna

Well - who gives a shit... let's say Russia – purely because of their extra 'fitness' and the Spanish team's unwillingness to trust Fabregas 'the Catalan' to start despite him being one of the players they should be building their team around.

As I said before, I got Russia in the sweepstake at work – go Russia... as a Gooner though I'll be supporting Spain as soon as they do the decent thing and bring on the fabulous Fabregas.

Interestingly, on Monday UEFA announced that the final will be refereed by a certain Roberto Rosetti... I mentioned him in a previous post, check it out:

http://footballhasbroken.blogspot.com/2008/06/we-are-all-bourgeois-now.html

So, it might be worth a sneaky fiver on Russia, just in case they make it that far?

;-)

When the man comes around...

Today it seems that both AC Milan and Barcelona have come right out and officially made Adebayor their top transfer target... Barcelona will probably sign Hleb and Milan have already signed Flamini... these are big money clubs so, in a way it is a good thing that both of them are so determined to sign him – good in a way that if he does decide to leave then we can be sure of getting a very good return to invest in new talent. I am hoping though that Ade will decide to stay – he has 'Arsenal Legend' written all over him. Defenders are already terrified of his strength, pace, fitness and skill on the ball – and he is still improving. I have seen matches where the opposing team have man-marked him with two players, one on each shoulder like minders, and he has still lost them or run them both into the ground. Rio Ferdinand has stated publicly that Adebayor is the hardest challenge he has had to face as a defender – as you turn your back for a minute and he's lost you... i.e. he requires 100% of a defenders concentration for the full game if you are going to keep him quiet. This is why he worked so well with Eduardo – how can you devote all your defence to watching Adebayor while you have Eduardo, a very different player in his own way, popping up out of nowhere and scoring. Together they were brutal and you could see a partnership forming between them that would be very special indeed.

To explain – the main reason that Adebayor was scoring so many goals was because he was able to find the space that Eduardo was giving him – but this is not to say that Eduardo was merely a distraction... Eduardo is as effective a striker as Adebayor in his own right and together they could throw the opposition defence into a panic and tear them in half. I was utterly devastated when Eduardo got his leg broken... and it was about that point that Adebayor stopped scoring as many goals... for one - he was marked/fouled out of the game and for two – he was incorrectly ruled offside by a spate of key decisions by the match officials' that crosses the boarder of the ridiculous... as an aside - I think at one point we got 12 key decisions go against us incorrectly back-to-back - it could be more as I lost count - now, you get yourself a coin and try and flip it heads up 12 times in a row and tell me how long it takes and I'll see you next week. Ask yourself this - was the reason our season fell apart just bad luck? Was it entirely down to injuries? Or was it some other media lie?

Get the facts together and come to your own conclusions.

Back to Adebayor, if he stays at Arsenal then he will continue to improve, there is no question – with Eduardo returning to fitness I would love to see them picking up that partnership where they left off. If he goes then his only motivation will be economic and short-term economic at that. He has friends at Barcelona in Henry and Hleb (probably) but his work here in North London is currently an unfinished opus.

There is a good story (one of the few) written about Adebayor on the BBC website:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/7464385.stm

Reading this fills me with the hope that he is not a man who is all about the money and his statements about loving the club and fans were genuine...

Time will tell.

Anyway, onto tonight's match:

Germany v Turkey @ Basel

Unless the German coach crashes on the way to the stadium then Germany will win – I can't see any other outcome. 2 goal minimum - Get on it large...

...if Turkey win; I get no sleep tonight...

:-\

Seasons in the Sun

[24/06/2008 10:48:45] dhjackal says: oi

[24/06/2008 10:48:46] dhjackal says: on betfair how do you put on a e/w bet

[24/06/2008 10:49:39] DogFace says: Erm... I think that you have to do two bets - 1 "placed" and one "to win".

[24/06/2008 10:51:10] dhjackal says: ok

[24/06/2008 10:51:31] DogFace says: You're not getting on the feckin' horses again are you?

[24/06/2008 10:51:52] dhjackal says: :-P

[24/06/2008 10:51:58] dhjackal says: 12/1 tip

[24/06/2008 10:52:03] DogFace says: from whom?

[24/06/2008 10:52:14] dhjackal says: some bloke down the boozer

[24/06/2008 10:52:19] dhjackal says: (rofl)

[24/06/2008 10:52:27] DogFace says: Blimey - I'm getting on it!

[24/06/2008 10:52:33] dhjackal says: excellent

[24/06/2008 10:52:40] DogFace says: Spread the wealth man!?

[24/06/2008 10:52:46] dhjackal says: he owns horses apparently

[24/06/2008 10:53:06] DogFace says: Hang on - it really was some bloke down the pub?

[24/06/2008 10:53:33] DogFace says: :^)

[24/06/2008 10:53:43] dhjackal says: (nod)

[24/06/2008 10:53:46] dhjackal says: (smirk)

[24/06/2008 10:54:09] DogFace says: When's it running?

[24/06/2008 11:00:22] dhjackal says: Arctic Blue, 18:50 at newbury

[24/06/2008 11:01:25] DogFace says: I'm on it huge - 100 grand on the nose. Tomorrow I'll be a millionaire.

[24/06/2008 11:01:44] dhjackal says: :-

[24/06/2008 11:02:15] DogFace says: I'll buy you a pint if I win

[24/06/2008 11:02:34] dhjackal says: :-O

[24/06/2008 11:02:46] DogFace says: and a packet of peanuts

[24/06/2008 11:02:57] dhjackal says: (happy)

[24/06/2008 12:45:42] dhjackal says: cup of char?

[24/06/2008 12:45:48] dhjackal says: need to run something by you

[24/06/2008 12:45:53] DogFace says: righto

*dhjackal explains over the tea-urn that the local kids are using his back garden fence, that backs onto the local reccie, as a makeshift goal which leads to them kicking the ball over the fence and said kids breaking into his garden to get their ball back. Last week a ball flew over and spilt his beer. A few weeks before one hit a table and broke a wine glass. Various different methods of deterring this 'scourge of youth' impinging on his drinking were discussed. dhjackal came up with a plan to dig holes 'upon a midnight dreary' in the makeshift penalty area; whereas I suggested trellis with a creeper to stop the kids climbing over. dhjackal currently has four confiscated footballs in his shed.*

[24/06/2008 12:57:44] DogFace says: Check out this bad boy - 12" holes!

[24/06/2008 12:57:45] DogFace says: http://www.toolsinstock.com/index.php?act=viewProd&productId=307208

[24/06/2008 12:57:49] dhjackal says: nice - i like

[24/06/2008 12:57:58] dhjackal says: the inlaws might have one

[24/06/2008 12:58:07] DogFace says: Then you are sorted

[24/06/2008 12:58:13] dhjackal says: they have a massive garden and loads of stuff like that

[24/06/2008 13:02:21] DogFace says: I bet you could rent a petrol one for £20

[24/06/2008 13:02:31] dhjackal says: HARD CORE

[24/06/2008 13:02:42] DogFace says: You would get the job done right quick...

[24/06/2008 13:02:53] dhjackal says: true

[24/06/2008 13:03:07] dhjackal says: i need to check the weather cos i need to do it ninja stylie

[24/06/2008 13:04:01] DogFace says: Why not just paint on the fence "Gay boys hangout"

[24/06/2008 13:04:11] dhjackal says: brilliant

[24/06/2008 13:04:16] DogFace says: They would soon feck off as everyone would take the piss.

[24/06/2008 13:04:33] DogFace says: You just need a pot of paint and a big brush...

[24/06/2008 13:06:33] DogFace says: ...or - in big letters: "I HAVE A SMALL PENIS" that can be seen from a long way off. I mean - who would want to be associated with that?

[24/06/2008 13:07:08] dhjackal says: well i'm not sure i want that sprawled on the back of my fence

[24/06/2008 13:16:00] DogFace says: It'll be on the council fence.

[24/06/2008 13:16:16] dhjackal says: technically they are one and the same

[24/06/2008 13:16:21] DogFace says: It'll ensure that nobody ever hangs out there for anything ever again.

[24/06/2008 13:16:31] DogFace says: What would you prefer?

[24/06/2008 13:16:57] DogFace says: Balls flying over and kids in your garden jumping around on your flower beds - or peace and quiet with a few people thinking you have a small cock?

[24/06/2008 13:17:17] dhjackal says: (smirk)

[24/06/2008 13:17:39] dhjackal says: i think the gay boys hangout would work better

[24/06/2008 13:17:51] dhjackal says: you know what kids that age are like

[24/06/2008 13:18:03] dhjackal says: totally anti homosexual

[24/06/2008 13:18:12] DogFace says: OK - then stick with "GAY BOYS HANGOUT".

[24/06/2008 13:18:38] DogFace says: As the place to meet like-minded gays will be on the other side of your fence - you will not be implicated as 'a gay' yourself.

[24/06/2008 13:18:58] dhjackal says: we'll see, i'll try a few other things first before resorting to vandalism

[24/06/2008 13:19:01] dhjackal says: :^)

[24/06/2008 13:19:05] DogFace says: Hey - it's better than digging holes in the pitch and you might create a hot spot for the local gay community.

[24/06/2008 13:19:23] dhjackal says: then i might end up with loads of batty boys hanging round my gaff

[24/06/2008 13:19:54] dhjackal says: as i said

[24/06/2008 13:19:58] dhjackal says: i'll think about it

[24/06/2008 13:19:58] DogFace says: It would be fine - they would chat to your missus and do the washing up...

[24/06/2008 13:20:05] dhjackal says: brilliant - i'll get some pink paint on the way home

[24/06/2008 13:20:24] DogFace says: ...and discuss throw cushions and all that other shit you can't be arsed with.

[24/06/2008 13:20:31] dhjackal says: then i'll be able to watch the footy in peace

[24/06/2008 13:20:35] DogFace says: exactly.

[24/06/2008 13:20:40] dhjackal says: love it

[24/06/2008 13:31:59] DogFace says: "Manchester United striker Wayne Rooney is being lined up by Westlife to replace band member Brian McFadden." - The Sun

[24/06/2008 13:33:06] dhjackal says: get a grip / life

[24/06/2008 13:34:06] DogFace says: Ha, check it – it's true: http://www.entertainmentwise.com/news?id=43187

[24/06/2008 13:34:41] DogFace says: So... Ronaldo is off to Real and Rooney is going to be a pop star!?

[24/06/2008 13:34:56] DogFace says: (rofl)

[24/06/2008 13:36:52] DogFace says: Fergison is going to smacking their heads together when they turn up to pre-season training!

[24/06/2008 13:38:03] dhjackal says: oi

[24/06/2008 13:38:15] dhjackal says: (wait)

[24/06/2008 13:39:59] DogFace says: ...ok...

[24/06/2008 13:40:40] dhjackal says: (finger)

[24/06/2008 14:21:16] dhjackal says: i'm down for £5

[24/06/2008 14:21:34] DogFace says: £5 on what?

[24/06/2008 14:21:40] dhjackal says: that horse

[24/06/2008 14:21:50] DogFace says: You got access to Betfair now?

[24/06/2008 14:21:55] dhjackal says: no - but my mate has.

[24/06/2008 14:22:15] DogFace says: You each way?

[24/06/2008 14:22:21] dhjackal says: yep - 16/1

[24/06/2008 14:22:30] DogFace says: 16/1 to be placed?

[24/06/2008 14:22:41] dhjackal says: no 3.3 to be placed

[24/06/2008 14:22:50] DogFace says: Right... ok - was going to say...

[24/06/2008 14:23:27] DogFace says: ...why not just flush your fiver down the bog?

[24/06/2008 14:23:30] DogFace says: (chuckle)

[24/06/2008 14:30:50] dhjackal says: that's rich esp coming from you

[24/06/2008 14:31:04] dhjackal says: isn't that what you do everytime you place a bet

[24/06/2008 14:31:13] DogFace says: Ha-ha... not quite every time.

[24/06/2008 14:31:15] dhjackal says: with one of your therioes?

[24/06/2008 14:31:40] DogFace says: As your previous broker; I have your full betting history for the horses on an excel spreadsheet if you wish to study it? It makes interesting reading...

[24/06/2008 14:31:52] dhjackal says: thanks

[24/06/2008 14:32:22] dhjackal says: that's down to that fucking idiot Abhay

[24/06/2008 14:32:43] DogFace says: ...So the random bloke you met down the pub is more reliable?

[24/06/2008 14:33:31] DogFace says: Anyway - I won a shit load on the CL final... so I'm still up on the football.

[24/06/2008 14:33:44] DogFace says: And if Russia wins then I'm more-up.

[24/06/2008 14:34:17] dhjackal says: whatever

[24/06/2008 14:35:24] DogFace says: I was doing so well until the fecking Croatia/Germany game :-(.

[24/06/2008 14:37:11] DogFace says: I layed heavy on the Croatians and Germany didn't even turn up... then, as I recall, after I invested another tenner - you advised me to go with instinct... on fucking Croatia again!

[24/06/2008 14:37:37] dhjackal says: tough life isn't it

[24/06/2008 14:38:00] DogFace says: AND - you got me to stick a fiver on it for you too!

[24/06/2008 14:38:12] dhjackal says: i didn't tell you to back the Germans in the Croatia game?

[24/06/2008 14:38:22] DogFace says: No... you didn't; that was my error... besides - I layed Croatia.– but you did in the Turkey game!

[24/06/2008 14:38:36] dhjackal says: and Germany to beat Portugal

[24/06/2008 14:38:37] dhjackal says: and

[24/06/2008 14:38:38] dhjackal says: and

[24/06/2008 14:38:39] dhjackal says: and

[24/06/2008 14:38:43] dhjackal says: Man Utd to win the league

[24/06/2008 14:38:47] dhjackal says: and CL

[24/06/2008 14:38:48] dhjackal says: and

[24/06/2008 14:39:01] DogFace says: As I told you - I made a mint on the CL final... although I didn't place any bets on the actual winner.

[24/06/2008 14:39:13] dhjackal says: altogether now

[24/06/2008 14:39:22] dhjackal says: say we are Champions

[24/06/2008 14:39:24] dhjackal says: we are Champions

[24/06/2008 14:39:27] dhjackal says: say we are Champions

[24/06/2008 14:39:29] DogFace says: Oh Christ...

[24/06/2008 14:39:31] dhjackal says: we are Champions

[24/06/2008 14:39:39] DogFace says: ...here we go again.

[24/06/2008 14:39:42] dhjackal says: CHAMPIONS OF EUROPE

[24/06/2008 14:39:46] dhjackal says: (party)

[24/06/2008 14:39:49] dhjackal says: say we are Champions

[24/06/2008 14:39:52] dhjackal says: (dance)

[24/06/2008 14:39:54] dhjackal says: we are Champions

[24/06/2008 14:39:55] dhjackal says: say we are Champions

[24/06/2008 14:39:57] dhjackal says: we are Champions

[24/06/2008 14:40:09] DogFace says: -(

I'm gonna get my face on the 6 'o' clock news..

HA – I must be cursed in my predictions, or blessed... I suspected extra time, possibly penalties – but I never expected Spain to go though! Italy OUT, that's right – say it again O-U-T!!! It was a shit old match, not just because Italy put 10 men behind the ball and hoofed it at Toni but also because Spain, who were actually trying to have a bit of a game and got nowt from the ref all match... by my reckoning they should have had 2 penalties and a number of free kicks from scoring positions around the area denied them in what was a clearly biased officiated game in the favour of Italy.

*ARSENAL NEWS*

Fabregas was awesome against Italy – after all he knows how games like this go from playing with Arsenal and going up against shit-kicker teams like Italy while getting the wrong end of decisions all season – he also knows what you have to do to get a result – i.e. don't give up, just keep playing and make your chances. He also got the 'bonus ball' in the penalty shoot out that sent the Italians home... I love it when Fabregas scores important goals – his eyes go mental like there's a wild animal trying to burst out of him. Proper passion – fucking respect that!

Do you think that he might get to start a match now?

Spain aren't out of the woods yet however as Russia will be in mid-sprint to Vienna to knock them out and then jog around the city a few times before the Russia/Germany final... after that they'll all sprint back to Russia – apart from Andrei Arshavin who'll be running at full pelt the other way pausing only momentarily to do 300 press-ups and take his vitamins.

"The light that burns twice as bright burns for half as long and you have burned so very, very brightly..." – Tyrell

"I don't want to use big words but it is almost a miracle" - Hiddink

"If he dies, he dies" – Drago

Roll on Wednesday.

[23/06/2008 09:27:43] DogFace says: http://footballisfixed.blogspot.com/2008/06/its-official-ferguson-to-manage-great.html
[23/06/2008 09:32:44] dhjackal says: what a load of utter pig shit
[23/06/2008 09:32:53] DogFace says: ...ha-ha-ha...
[23/06/2008 09:32:58] DogFace says: Watch it happen!

Oh Milli Takim Ole Ole!

If there is one thing worse than losing all your cash on what you thought was a sure thing – then that’s losing all your cash on what you thought was a sure thing and having the north London Turkish community rub it right in your face.

There are many communities in North London – forget the Islington stereotypes of organic yoga and Tony Blair, Islington sprawls further than N1... it goes all the way down the Holloway road through N5 to N7... which is where I am.

There are many nationalities, races, communities, religions, perversions, addictions and ‘ways of life’ represented here – you name it and it’ll be walking down the Holloway road at some point on a Saturday afternoon (usually wearing an Arsenal shirt).

Two such nationality-based communities that are particularly well represented ‘round our way’ are the Greeks and the Turks... for some reason they don’t get on very well... they have some ‘history’ apparently.

The road I live in is on the Greek/Turkish divide and, the other night we had all the pissed up Turkish community driving up and down until the early hours of the morning honking their horns, windows down and playing some cheesy Turkish pop song (I assume that it’s the Turkish version of ‘3 lions’).

Their was a fight at one point when the Greek members of the street (we live predominantly Greek road) all piled out to give the Turks a good hiding for parking up at 2:30 am, stereo on full blast with all the doors open whilst standing on the roof, singing their lungs out.

Spawny bastards... you woke my kids up – twice... The match looked hard – I don’t know how Turkey do it – oh wait, yes I do! It’s good to see that they got the ‘power-aid’ mixture right this time and nobody got sent off for flipping out with their eyes rolling around their heads whilst chewing their cheeks out... that’s progress!

On to another Match – last night’s game with Russia and Holland... how did Russia do it? They looked so fresh-legged – for the whole game... and that was with much less of a break and harder matches than the Dutch - I know that they are a young squad but – they just kept running like machines!

So that’s all my money gone... well apart from the sweepstake at work, I’m still in that with Russia... I also put a bet on pre-tournament on what was then a considerable long shot – this was on the advice of The Joker... if that comes off then I’ll be up and then some. But – in all honesty, I doubt that they will get past Italy.

Which brings us neatly on to tonight’s match:

Spain v Italy @ Vienna

Italy to get through – nothing to do with form, skill, fitness or football or anything like that – Italy will have prepared for this and Spain just don’t have the clout. I’ll be watching carefully... and wondering where it all went wrong?

Never mind the bollocks.

bollocks.

Everybody has the right to be wrong!

Fuck, fuck, fuckity, fuck, fuck!!

Can someone help me out here? What out of the following 3 would constitute 'the most useless':

• The Portuguese defence
• A nuns tits
• A one legged man in an arse kicking contest

Scolari, I’m glad you are going to Chelsea as you can teach them how to make the most basic schoolboy errors when defending set pieces... what was going on – I don’t understand it!?
Essentially, I read the match dynamic pretty much right – and at half time I was fairly confident that my ship would be sailing home. The third German goal (the softest of the goals) ended that. It came at a bad time too – just as the German legs were looking tired the Portuguese accepted defeat and put their heads down. They bottled it. Some people might say that the third German goal was a foul – but, to me honest, the defender jumped too early and the keeper should have been there, so there were too many basic fuckups to even bother about whether it was a foul or not. Scolari, you’re the manager – why didn’t you sort it out and manage? Why were you on your arse in the dugout five minutes before your team hit the pitch? Did you really have NOTHING else to say to them – or were you too busy dreaming of blue roubles to care?

Blah - congratulations Germany, you bastards.

Still – I clawed back a bit of cash with a punt on the ‘winning margin’ being 1 goal – so I’m now only 44% down on my tenner from last night.

Tonight I need to flip a coin, roll a dice and double through... ha – maybe I’ll look into ‘first corner’ and let it all ride – it would have saved me 85 minutes of stress/despair watching last nights match.

*tilt*

Ok, ok – calm, ‘win some lose some’ remember... let’s look at this logically:

Quarter-final - Croatia v Turkey @ Vienna

Result: Croatia will smash Turkey, 3-1
Reasons: Instinct.

[20/06/2008 09:11:32] DogFace says: dah
[20/06/2008 09:11:53] DogFace says: it was looking so good until Germany got the 3rd and then they gave up!
[20/06/2008 09:12:01] DogFace says: Fucking Portugal!!
[20/06/2008 09:18:03] dhjackal says: well you wouldn't listen
[20/06/2008 09:18:20] DogFace says: meh
[20/06/2008 09:18:47] DogFace says: You should have told me that Portugal were weak on set pieces!!!
[20/06/2008 09:18:58] DogFace says: Rather than just saying that ‘Germany will win’!
[20/06/2008 09:19:36] dhjackal says: i told you portugal would bottle it
[20/06/2008 09:19:39] dhjackal says: and they did
[20/06/2008 09:20:33] DogFace says: OK - I accept that, but next time tell me how they will bottle it. I didn't know they were THAT bad at the back!
[20/06/2008 09:23:33] dhjackal says: Spain are just as bad
[20/06/2008 09:23:40] dhjackal says: esp without Payol
[20/06/2008 09:26:16] DogFace says: Yeah... I reckon you might be right - although Fabregas can drop back when he needs to, to help out a bit, he's been doing that last season with Arsenal... but still - Italy.. I hope Spain make it a tough match for them at least.
[20/06/2008 09:34:29] dhjackal says: your over analysing again
[20/06/2008 09:37:38] DogFace says: ha-ha
[20/06/2008 09:37:44] DogFace says: Just go with instinct right?
[20/06/2008 09:38:00] DogFace says: OK - so tonight: Quarter-final - Croatia v Turkey @ Vienna
[20/06/2008 09:38:10] DogFace says: Croatia are going to SMASH them!
[20/06/2008 09:38:29] DogFace says: That's my instinct.
[20/06/2008 09:39:04] dhjackal says: i agree
[20/06/2008 09:39:13] dhjackal says: now stick to your instinct
[20/06/2008 09:39:15] DogFace says: Then it's settled?
[20/06/2008 09:39:21] dhjackal says: and stick some cash down
[20/06/2008 09:39:26] dhjackal says: if you lose you lose
[20/06/2008 09:39:30] dhjackal says: like Rocky
[20/06/2008 09:40:05] DogFace says: I’m going to - I'm down 44% on last night... clawed some back on "Winning Margain".
[20/06/2008 09:40:26] DogFace says: Yeah man - like Rocky!
[20/06/2008 09:40:57] DogFace says: All I need now is a little Irish fellah barking orders at me and telling me that I'm going to eat lightning and crap thunder...
[20/06/2008 09:41:34] dhjackal says: sounds like a perfect role for me
[20/06/2008 09:41:50] dhjackal says: i need to drink more peat water to redden up my face
[20/06/2008 09:42:21] DogFace says: hahaha
[20/06/2008 09:43:15] DogFace says: OK - this is where it starts. The big comeback - tonight my cash is going down heavy on Croatia!
[20/06/2008 09:43:38] DogFace says: Gettin' strong now (music) ba dah daaah!
[20/06/2008 09:44:01] dhjackal says: how much?
[20/06/2008 09:44:20] DogFace says: Whatever's left... £6.63
[20/06/2008 09:44:35] DogFace says: Should I invest some more?
[20/06/2008 09:44:35] dhjackal says: not exactly breaking the bank are you?
[20/06/2008 09:44:41] dhjackal says: stick £5 for me
[20/06/2008 09:44:55] DogFace says: I thought I would be a bit more up after last night!
[20/06/2008 09:45:36] dhjackal says: i would have been
[20/06/2008 09:45:38] DogFace says: OK - £5 on Croatia win. I'll do it @ lunch.
[20/06/2008 09:45:41] dhjackal says: had i been at home
[20/06/2008 09:45:45] dhjackal says: ok - nice one
[20/06/2008 09:45:51] dhjackal says: what you doing for lunch?
[20/06/2008 09:46:09] DogFace says: Dunno - maybe we could round up the boys and get Thai?
[20/06/2008 09:46:23] dhjackal says: fancy a sneeky (beer)
[20/06/2008 09:46:29] DogFace says: Yeah man!
[20/06/2008 09:47:13] DogFace says: I just got some mentally un-taxing work to do this afternoon - so that'll make it fly by.
[20/06/2008 09:51:17] dhjackal says: wicked
[20/06/2008 09:51:25] dhjackal says: i'll round up some bodies
[20/06/2008 09:51:30] DogFace says: Do it.
[20/06/2008 09:51:33] dhjackal says: we'll hit the Uni
[20/06/2008 09:51:36] dhjackal says: hard
[20/06/2008 09:51:50] DogFace says: And smash it to splinters!
[20/06/2008 09:52:24] dhjackal says: 8-)

Somewhere in the ancient mystic trinity...

Right, let’s get serious. It’s the first of the proper games where it all counts and we can safely assume that everyone will be going for it. Let's move on swiftly to tonights fixture :

Quarter-final: Portugal v Germany @ Basel

I’ve tried to compile up some stats to inform me a bit more where my cash should go, but it’s very hard to find them? Why can’t I find these figures anywhere – surely it’s of interest?
Anyway – those I couldn’t find I took a guess at... I wanted many more stats but it was too much work (while trying to do actual work).

I have tried to make some 'Top Trumps' style stats, check it out:

Referee: Peter Fröjdfeldt (SWE)
Linesmen: Stefan Wittberg (SWE), Henrik Andren (SWE)
Fourth Official: ???

Expected officiating style: Card happy

Portugal
Last Game Played: 15 June 2008
Last Game Physicality: Easy
Last Game % of 'First team' used: 33%
Yellow Cards: 5 (Jose Bosingwa, Paulo Ferreira, Fernando Meira, Miguel, Jorge Ribeiro)
Red Cards: N/A
Average Team Age: 26.03184524
Average Team Height: Not Lanky
Average Team Weight: Average

Germany
Last Game Played: 16 June 2008
Last Game Physicality: Hard
Last Game % of 'First team' used: High
Yellow Cards: 3 (Bastian Schweinsteiger, Michael Ballack, Jens Lehmann)
Red Cards: 1 (Bastian Schweinsteiger)
Average Team Age: 27.32529762
Average Team Height: 6'1
Average Team Weight: Big lads

So – as you can see Portugal look to have the edge here... add to that – the German manager has been banned from the touchline (I think, is he still?). I remember Basel not being a particularly fast pitch... in fact it was a fucking swamp the last time I saw it. But maybe they’ll ring it out and cut the grass a bit for this match. Anyone know what the weather will be doing?

Breaking news:

• Holding midfielder Frings is a major doubt with fractured ribs, while Podolski has a calf problem.
• The pitch in Basel for the game has been relaid after heavy rain and Germany have decided not to train on the St Jakob Park turf the day before the game.

I reckon Portugal will win as they have had an extra days rest and they didn’t even turn up to the last match they played. Germany will be giving away a couple of years and will start feeling it in the legs in the second half - especially if the pitch is heavy - so Portugal will have to attack, attack, attack - they won’t be able to mark them out of the game for the full 90 minutes if they do that. Germany will look for space around the area on the break and be belting them in... but I can’t see them actually pushing forward past the 20 minute mark.

My instinct says Germany... but the facts say Portugal - so Portugal by a goal.

My money is down... please let me be right or its back to that smegging, smart-arse dice again.

Good luck!

*ARSENAL NEWS*

We have semi-officially signed Nasri... but we already knew that. Also Barcelona are in semi-official talks over Hleb. They have also stated their intention of signing Adebayor for 24 million quid. Could Wenger be setting up some kind of deal with a player swap involved? I would probably think so... still – I would like to keep Ade as he is a proven EPL goal scorer, give him another season or two and he’ll be better than Drogba at his peak with a considerable age advantage – so, 24,000,000 don’t seem that much... worry, worry, worry.

:-S

Denis Denis, I'm so in love with you...

It makes me glad that I didn't have money on that but how can you predict a bonkers France team selection (maybe I could have predicted that), a sending off with an Italy penalty, a key injury in Ribery (glad we didn't buy him now) and an Henry own goal? Well - at least we got to see Henry score... classic stuff, back to goal with a lickle flick on from 30 yards out to send the keeper the wrong way... I did say roll a dice!

France needs to rebuild... I would start with the manager who seems to have, and let's be fair to him, lost the fucking plot! Denis Denis, je suis si folle de toi!

The other game was better and I mostly watched that one. The Dutch are clearly on fire – with a B(ish) team they destroyed Romania who, despite being knackered from the previous match, are still pretty good... Although – this may come back to bite them in the semis, personally I would have taken it easy and let them win, knocking out Italy and France as a bonus – (obvious init?) hence my prediction, I read it wrong - sorry... Still – RvP eh? Nice goal!

On to tonight's matches – Let's look at the group:

Group D P GD PTS
1 Spain 2 4 6
2 Sweden 2 1 3
3 Russia 2 -2 3
4 Greece 2 -3 0

So it's a straight punch out between Sweden and Russia, Sweden only requiring a draw to go through... and, because I'm clearly so shit at this, I'm going to consult the dice again:

Greece v Spain @ Salzburg
Referee: Howard Webb (ENG)
Assistant referees: Darren Cann (ENG), Mike Mullarkey (ENG),
Fourth official: Stéphane Lannoy (FRA)

The die says: Spain... by 3. (ha - no chance!)

Russia v Sweden @ Innsbruck
Referee: Frank de Bleeckere (BEL)
Assistant referees: Peter Hermans (BEL), Alex Verstraeten (BEL)
Fourth official: Kristinn Jakobsson (ICE)

The die says Russia... by 1 (fuck that – I would be on the draw!).

The dice are clearly having a laugh. So unless you have some kind of inside info – I would steer clear. I may have to invest another tenner for the next round so I can put my money where my mouth is... I reckon it'll be more predictable now that we know the form.

[18/06/2008 09:43:53] dhjackal says: When Jonny goes marching down the wing
[18/06/2008 09:43:57] dhjackal says: O'Shea! O'Shea!
[18/06/2008 09:44:00] dhjackal says: When Jonny goes marching down the wing
[18/06/2008 09:44:05] dhjackal says: O'Shea! O'Shea!
[18/06/2008 09:44:15] DogFace says: What you talking about Willis?
[18/06/2008 09:44:18] dhjackal says: When Jonny goes marching down the wing the stretford end will f*ckin sing...
We all know that Jonny's going to score!
Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na!
[18/06/2008 09:44:41] dhjackal says: repeat until your face bursts
[18/06/2008 09:48:12] DogFace says: Again, what are you on about?
[18/06/2008 09:48:25] dhjackal says: John O'Shea
[18/06/2008 09:48:29] dhjackal says: it's obvious
[18/06/2008 09:48:47] DogFace says: Yeah... so - did he score a goal or something?
[18/06/2008 09:48:55] dhjackal says: course he did
[18/06/2008 09:49:01] dhjackal says: he always scores
[18/06/2008 09:49:16] dhjackal says: i remember him sticking a volley in the net against you at Highbury when we smashed you up 4-2
[18/06/2008 09:53:38] DogFace says: OK... so - did he score recently?
[18/06/2008 09:53:42] DogFace says: i.e. what are you on about?
[18/06/2008 09:56:31] dhjackal says: last time he scored was against Liverpool at Anfield which essentially won us the league
[18/06/2008 09:56:50] dhjackal says: he's a legend
[18/06/2008 09:57:06] DogFace says: So why are you singing about him this morning? Did he die?
[18/06/2008 09:57:17] dhjackal says: I'm singing about him because he's a legend
[18/06/2008 09:57:28] DogFace says: ...gotcha...
[18/06/2008 09:57:37] dhjackal says: your an Arsenal fan
[18/06/2008 09:57:45] dhjackal says: you only sing when people die
[18/06/2008 09:57:47] DogFace says: Went down the lane - The other night
[18/06/2008 09:58:05] DogFace says: To tell all the scum - we got a new Ian Wright.
[18/06/2008 09:58:14] DogFace says: They said to me - well how can that be?
[18/06/2008 09:58:32] DogFace says: I said to them - we got Thierry Henry!
[18/06/2008 09:59:10] dhjackal says: His son's a robbing little shite bag - Ian Wright.
[18/06/2008 09:59:26] dhjackal says: thiving fucking gipsy
[18/06/2008 09:59:37] DogFace says: Eh - what's he done?
[18/06/2008 09:59:47] dhjackal says: he's been arrested for robbery
[18/06/2008 09:59:57] DogFace says: When?
[18/06/2008 10:00:05] dhjackal says: 3 mobile phones, £130 and a packet of ciggys
[18/06/2008 10:00:12] dhjackal says: what a fucking idiot
[18/06/2008 10:00:14] DogFace says: What Sean?
[18/06/2008 10:00:18] dhjackal says: no
[18/06/2008 10:00:26] DogFace says: Well I was going to say... apart from taking the Chav rouble and his choice of car, Sean seems fairly sensible.
[18/06/2008 10:00:28] dhjackal says: the other little fuckwit
[18/06/2008 10:00:40] DogFace says: Well... his dad was also a bit of a scallywag when he was a lad.
[18/06/2008 10:01:00] dhjackal says: Thiving South London gipsies
[18/06/2008 10:01:31] DogFace says: Is it 'gypsies' or 'gipsies'... or something else?
[18/06/2008 10:01:45] dhjackal says: who cares
[18/06/2008 10:02:06] DogFace says: Well - now they are out of Eurovision 2008 – nobody... look, if you're going to get all 'essentialist' on me you should at least get your labels right - you pig tickling potato eater.
[18/06/2008 10:02:08] DogFace says: Oh FFS: "Barcelona president Joan Laporta has sanctioned a £24m move for Arsenal striker Emmanuel Adebayor in a bid to beat off competition from AC Milan."
[18/06/2008 10:02:10] dhjackal says: oh well
[18/06/2008 10:02:25] DogFace says: How about this then: "Manchester United's owners have again come out and said Cristiano Ronaldo is not for sale at any price, despite Real Madrid being prepared to pay up to £70m for the Portuguese star."
[18/06/2008 10:02:44] DogFace says: "But Real Madrid will pay any fines Ronaldo picks up if he stays away from Old Trafford when the United players report back for pre-season training in a bid to lure him to Bernabeu..."
[18/06/2008 10:07:43] dhjackal says: what a bunch of cunts
[18/06/2008 10:08:15] DogFace says: It's all media noise to engineer consent in the fanbase – establish that SAF and the board are 'proper geezers' and CR is a spoiled little twat, then do the deal... ker-ching!
[18/06/2008 10:08:22] dhjackal says: whatever
[18/06/2008 10:08:35] dhjackal says: Italy are going to beat Spain
[18/06/2008 10:08:45] dhjackal says: and Germany are going to beat Portugal
[18/06/2008 10:08:53] dhjackal says: it's in the stars
[18/06/2008 10:09:37] DogFace says: Spain will smash Italy... yes - I think that Germany could beat the Portuguese.
[18/06/2008 10:10:21] DogFace says: Portugal hasn't really been tested yet.
[18/06/2008 10:10:48] DogFace says: What about Croatia/Turkey?
[18/06/2008 10:10:52] dhjackal says: Italy will win
[18/06/2008 10:10:59] DogFace says: You reckon?
[18/06/2008 10:11:02] dhjackal says: yes - mark my words
[18/06/2008 10:11:05] DogFace says: What's your rationale?
[18/06/2008 10:11:14] dhjackal says: Spain are going to bottle it and Italy have the experience
[18/06/2008 10:11:28] DogFace says: I see...
[18/06/2008 10:11:37] dhjackal says: i'm lumping on
[18/06/2008 10:11:40] DogFace says: Spain have got some talent though?
[18/06/2008 10:11:53] dhjackal says: Croatia should beat Turkey
[18/06/2008 10:11:59] DogFace says: Yes well...
[18/06/2008 10:12:07] DogFace says: ...it depends on the half time oranges!
[18/06/2008 10:12:01] dhjackal says: talent counts for little when you've got a cock up your arse
[18/06/2008 10:12:34] dhjackal says: they're going to get it big time
[18/06/2008 10:12:46] DogFace says: So are you saying that all the Spanish team are taking it up the arse or Italy will bend them over and pound them silly?
[18/06/2008 10:14:26] dhjackal says: both
[18/06/2008 10:14:39] DogFace says: Spain also haven't had a real test yet... where as Italy will be feeling confident. Italy are notorious 'slow starters' - so... hmmmmm. I have been more impressed with Spain though.
[18/06/2008 10:14:42] dhjackal says: esp that little punk Torres
[18/06/2008 10:14:57] dhjackal says: fuck Spain they're finished
[18/06/2008 10:15:02] DogFace says: They have too much of the scouse in their side...
[18/06/2008 10:15:09] dhjackal says: that's another thing
[18/06/2008 10:15:18] DogFace says: 7 or 8 Liverpool players?
[18/06/2008 10:15:26] dhjackal says: Italia
[18/06/2008 10:15:31] dhjackal says: Italia
[18/06/2008 10:15:33] dhjackal says: Italia
[18/06/2008 10:15:33] dhjackal says: Italia
[18/06/2008 10:16:20] DogFace says: So - who will Holland face?
[18/06/2008 10:18:49] DogFace says: Russia or Sweden?
[18/06/2008 10:18:59] dhjackal says: tough one
[18/06/2008 10:19:16] DogFace says: yes.
[18/06/2008 10:20:24] DogFace says: Andrei Arshavin is back after the ban.
[18/06/2008 10:20:30] dhjackal says: yeah
[18/06/2008 10:20:38] dhjackal says: i'm trying to call it - but it's difficult
[18/06/2008 10:21:04] DogFace says: It's going to come down to fitness or dodgyness.
[18/06/2008 10:21:33] dhjackal says: not if your 3 up at half time - you keep going on about this
[18/06/2008 10:21:42] DogFace says: If you play so many matches so close it really does make a difference.
[18/06/2008 10:22:07] DogFace says: Look at Turkey down by 2 goals... and then what?
[18/06/2008 10:22:14] dhjackal says: freak mistake by the goalie let them back in
[18/06/2008 10:22:35] DogFace says: A quick glug of 'go-go juice' at half time and they are bouncing around like spring lambs!
[18/06/2008 10:23:01] dhjackal says: and destroyed their morale
[18/06/2008 10:23:19] DogFace says: They were on the Redbull mate!
[18/06/2008 10:23:30] dhjackal says: it gives you wings
[18/06/2008 10:23:35] DogFace says: hahaha - that it does... that it does.

Roast fish and cornbread

Meh... I'm going to stick with rolling the dice in future. I didn't get to see the second half of either game as the missus wanted to watch a program about chav parents that only feed their kids chocolate, jelly babies and unhappy meals because "they won't eat nuffink else"... here's a clue – don't buy anymore brown vegetable fat (masquerading as chocolate), crisps or 4 litre bottles of luminous aerated fluids and pack your fucking cupboards out with them... try fresh fruit, vegetables and meat instead and pluck/skin, chop and cook it – maybe you could source it from your local market or game dealer (they do exist) and WALK there like all the middle class people who are eating better, healthier (and fucking 'trendier') than you for less money - do you know how much it costs to make a proper nice soup and a loaf of bread using only a few basic ingredients, a saucepan and an oven – about as much as a pack of hulk yogurts (18% dairy) and some 'cheese' strings... or a 20 B&H. You could even get the kids involved, make it fun and stretch their imaginations... or maybe not and your kids will turn out to be fat, useless, brain-dead automatons – just like you... it's like genetics except your kids are inheriting your stupid pig-headed stubborn fucking ignorance. Jesus Christ – look in the mirror – WAKE UP! YOUR CHILDREN ARE YOUR ONLY LEGACY!

Hang on – what the fuck am I on about... this is a football blog!??! Nothing gets me shouting at the telly more than adverts, documentaries and football.

Right, so, I gave rubbish tips yesterday – I admit... but what about tonight? Let's check out the group:

Group C P GD PTS
1 Netherlands 2 6 6
2 Romania 2 0 2
3 France 2 -3 1
4 Italy 2 -3 1

This is interesting... Romania just needs to beat a team that have already qualified top to go through! My, my, my... where as there is a 'Grudge Match' replay of the world cup final happening at the same time!

France v Italy @ Zurich
Hmm, avoid this match or roll the dice – France I reckon... even though they're bonkers, I'd like to see Henry score... it won't matter though because:

Netherlands v Romania @ Berne
Romania all the way baby – COME ON ROMANIA! Go on Netherlands – give 'em a chance... RvP to start maybe?

Now... what game should I watch?

[17/06/2008 13:34:17] DogFace says: Who for tonight?
[17/06/2008 13:34:32] DogFace says: France/Italy & Netherlands/Romania
[17/06/2008 13:35:12] dhjackal says: tough one tonight
[17/06/2008 13:35:19] DogFace says: I agree...
[17/06/2008 13:35:26] dhjackal says: i'm staying away
[17/06/2008 13:35:27] DogFace says: France & Romania?
[17/06/2008 13:35:52] dhjackal says: France have the best National anthem
[17/06/2008 13:36:03] DogFace says: Yeah - it's good.
[17/06/2008 13:36:19] dhjackal says: for a bunch of surrender monkeys
[17/06/2008 13:36:31] DogFace says: Yup... also, Netherlands play in orange.
[17/06/2008 13:37:14] DogFace says: Romania need a win - a draw could take them through.
[17/06/2008 13:37:21] dhjackal says: could
[17/06/2008 13:37:24] DogFace says: But only if Italy & France draw.
[17/06/2008 13:37:29] dhjackal says: which they might
[17/06/2008 13:37:38] DogFace says: Where as Netherlands have finished top win/lose/draw...
[17/06/2008 13:37:52] DogFace says: ...so I doubt that they'll be up for a battle.
[17/06/2008 13:38:46] dhjackal says: probably
[17/06/2008 13:39:47] DogFace says: Fuck... I reckon Romania have to do it!
[17/06/2008 13:40:21] dhjackal says: you might be right
[17/06/2008 13:40:23] DogFace says: It's up for grabs!
[17/06/2008 13:41:09] DogFace says: Those boys will be thinking - if we do this then some EPL team might want to pay up 50k a week!
[17/06/2008 13:41:40] DogFace says: Which is better than their current salary of half a pig and a box of carrots.
[17/06/2008 13:45:04] dhjackal says: Mmmm pig
[17/06/2008 14:13:06] DogFace says: Manager Sir Alex Ferguson is furious with Manchester United's fixture list for 2008/09 as his side face away trips after all six Champions League group games.
[17/06/2008 14:13:31] dhjackal says: it's always the same
[17/06/2008 14:13:41] dhjackal says: we get screwed every season
[17/06/2008 14:13:47] DogFace says: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!
[17/06/2008 14:13:52] dhjackal says: BUT
[17/06/2008 14:14:00] DogFace says: that's the funniest thing I ever heard!
[17/06/2008 14:14:01] dhjackal says: we'll still win
[17/06/2008 14:14:05] DogFace says: (rofl)
[17/06/2008 14:14:12] DogFace says: "we get screwed every season"
[17/06/2008 14:14:13] dhjackal says: against all the odds
[17/06/2008 14:14:18] dhjackal says: CHAMPIONS
[17/06/2008 14:14:24] DogFace says: Mate - you don't know you're born!
[17/06/2008 14:14:26] dhjackal says: CHAMPIONS OF EUROPE
[17/06/2008 14:14:33] dhjackal says: your right
[17/06/2008 14:14:36] dhjackal says: (party)
[17/06/2008 14:14:39] dhjackal says: (dance)
[17/06/2008 14:14:43] dhjackal says: CHAMPIONS OF EUROPE
[17/06/2008 14:14:44] dhjackal says: CHAMPIONS OF EUROPE
[17/06/2008 14:14:45] dhjackal says: CHAMPIONS OF EUROPE
[17/06/2008 14:14:46] dhjackal says: CHAMPIONS OF EUROPE
[17/06/2008 14:14:46] dhjackal says: CHAMPIONS OF EUROPE
[17/06/2008 14:14:53] DogFace says: (finger)

We are all bourgeois now.

You know... just when I was beginning to thing that the standard of officialdom in the Eurovision Soccer Contest was 'ok', along comes Roberto Rosetti and Howard Webb to set the record straight – I've already covered the Webb debacle in the previous post – but it is worth bearing in mind these two officials as the tournament progresses as they are likely to change the dynamic of the match. So - think carefully before putting your cash down...

I got the Russia Vs. Greece game correct alas I didn't put any cash down... I also predicted the Turkey Vs. Czech Republic outcome (I don't know how they won as I only saw the first half and they were taking a beating) – again, no cash so no bet (see previous posts somewhere).

...This makes me a sad panda...

Let's look back at the Russia v Greece game... Roberto Rosetti gave the Russians absolutely everything. His linesmen gave Greece absolutely nothing (including the legitimate goal they scored). The words 'flag happy' spring to mind – I even think that the talking heads in the studio mentioned it – it was that obvious. For a laugh, it's worth googling "Rosetti" and "corruption" with "football" just to see what you come up with...?

The wiki for Rosetti is a laugh too with this quote:

"Rosetti also officiated at the Champions's League semi-final between Chelsea and Liverpool at Stamford Bridge on April 30, 2008, earning the praise of UK television and radio commentators for his control of the game."

Ha ha... let's forget for a moment that commentators talk 99% shit and read that again carefully... Oh yeah!

Wait just a minute... Chelsea, Abramovic, Russia! Eee gads!

As I said – watch out for these two boys (along with their henchmen), as they are the 'hit men' of this competition and are likely to get selected at the last minute to officiate on matches where "a job" needs doing.

In case you were wondering – we live in an energy economy and Russia has all the gas... so it's best to keep them sweet... you dig?

Suggested chant for the Russians: "Stand up, if you've got all the gas, Stand up, if you've got all the gas, Stand up..."

I must apologise for not posting over the weekend... I was busy – it was Fathers day and all that bollocks – Sophia made me a nice card with stickers on it and a picture of me carrying her on my shoulders... so the card industry who invented this day in the first place did not profit from it – which is the way it should be... in fact never buy any card ever - make them, it's nice. The only reason people seem to celebrate anything these days is if there is some fucking industry built up around it and ramming it down our necks.

I spoke to the boys this morning about father's day, what they did, etc – I didn't get my dad a card as he fucked off when I was 4 - I still see him... but y'know, dhjackal has a similar patriarchal experience but he bought his old man a card anyway... Iraqi_Ali casually informed us that his dad was executed when he was 4... but added, in an attempt to fill the stunned silence:

"No, it's ok – most peoples dad's I know where executed so it's no big deal..."

It's just a question of what you are used to I suppose... where you come from and where you are going. He loves England, like it's the 'golden country'; he can leave at anytime – where as I was born into this place and it pisses me right off.

It makes you wonder though, how many fathers day cards the Baghdad branch of WHSmith sold this year? Maybe that was the reason behind the occupation?

Iraqi_Ali has many stories to tell – he told us once that in Iraq you can get a boiled sheep head for breakfast and you just pick off the face meat and drink the soup. I asked him if you ate the eyes and he told me that if you ate the eyes it was a grave insult to your host and you would probably get shot – apparently it's a round-about way of insinuating that you are banging his missus and daughters at the same time. I suspect he's taking the piss.

*ARSENAL NEWS*

Today is fixtures day! It's the day when all the randomised fixtures come out – I wouldn't bother with them too much though as there didn't seem to be much in the way of Grand Slam Sunday's or Showdown Saturday's – so Sky, Setanta and the bookies will probably get their heads together to rearrange a few things in order to get maximum control/profit.

Our first match is West Brom at home... which is going to be interesting as they will be out to kick the shit out of us. It's going to be a good marker to see how the rest of our season might go... I wonder who's officiating that one?

RIGHT – onto tonight's fixtures, let's look at the group:

Group B
P GD PTS
1 Croatia 2 2 6
2 Germany 2 1 3
3 Austria 2 -1 1
4 Poland 2 -2 1

Austria v Germany @ Vienna
Well – who's reffing? Oh – it's Manuel Mejuto Gonzalez... I don't know much about him, is he any good? Let's ask one of my Scottish colleagues:

DogFace: "What's Gonzales like as a ref?"
ObsessiveC: "Him... he's a fucking cock-riding cunt! If he sets foot in Scotland he's a fucking dead man!"

Ok – that clears that one up, Gonzales – I would avoid Scotland as a possible holiday destination for the foreseeable future. I reckon, barring a dodgy penalty in the last 10 minutes, a draw all the way. For a laugh google: "Manuel Mejuto Gonzalez" and see what comes up - I did, and I laughed!

Poland v Croatia @ Klagenfurt
Well... I would say Poland as Croatia have already qualified and will field a 'B' squad with instructions not to break a sweat. Poland has a GD of -2 so there might be some goals here... Croatia will not want to be embarrassed though and will probably put 10 behind the ball and shut up shop.

Good luck!

On candystripe legs the spiderman comes...

Oh no... disaster; I think that's it for me – my profits are down to £1.65 after being greedy and going large on laying Croatia!! Is there anyone out there that saw that one coming? I still have money in play of course after going 'on tilt' and throwing in my lot with the Dutch – I now have the most money that I have ever bet on anything riding on this considerable long shot - £25 @ 7 (average)...

...it doesn't look good for me does it?

I think I'm going to stick to playing poker (face to face rather than that internet shit) – I know where I stand with that... in poker you can play your hand against the stake in relation to the pot – in football the bookies offer up some bizarre odds that seem to make no logical sense in the long run. There are too many factors, for me anyway, to take in and make an informed decision. Still poker isn't as simple as the mathematics of its rules as you also have to be a good judge of character and have the ability to hide your agenda or actively promote a deception... people can be complex when they know what they are doing as, in reality (the reality of profit), the rules have got nothing to do with the result – some players are so good that they can win a match without even looking at their hand. One thing is for sure though, in poker, the experienced players will spot a mug and form a 'cartel' to fleece him – it's the way it works, like an unspoken rule that you only learn from experience. Nobody ever wrote it down or signed an agreement – it just evolved out of human nature.

Poker is a metaphor for life.

Still, yesterday could have been worse; I could have got on Poland to beat Austria! I knew there was something smelly about that match and just before kick-off I realised exactly what it was as a certain Mr. Howard Webb took to the pitch to assume the refereeing duties. I mean – he really is an utter twat... the first Brazilian, I mean Polish, goal was offside – and this coming from UEFA picked linesmen who are of such a high calibre that they can supposedly deduce in a split second that a goal is onside to the letter of an ever-so-fuzzy law – subsection a, paragraph iii (the injured player on his back with his hands over his eyes 4 meters from the touchline is 'active' as he didn't ask permission from the ref to leave the field of play) as in the Holland/Italy game. I mean – what? Come on UEFA - justify that one for me please – I dare you!? The second key decision which was hilarious was, in an effort to make amends for the first shit call (or to make the bookies happy); the Ronaldo McDonaldo of refs contrives a situation in the dying seconds in which he can award a flimsy penalty to Austria... he's Lovin' it!

*ARSENAL NEWS*

On a more sombre note we gooners say goodbye today to Derek Tapscott who died at 75 – he got 68 goals in 132 appearances which is a bloody good run in anyone's book. Rest in peace man – btw, if anyone can remember a chant for him then please email me so I can try to get it started at the Emirates Cup matches?

Um – onto tonight's games… can I be arsed seeing as I've got no money? Tell you what – I'll roll a dice: odds = Team A, evens = Draw, extremities = Team B. Then, baring a draw, I'll roll the dice twice to get the winning margin (if the same number comes up twice I'll roll again):

Italy v Romania @ Zurich
The die says: Romania… by 1.

Netherlands v France @ Berne
The die says: Netherlands… by 2.

It's FREE MONEY – get on it large!

[13/06/2008 09:32:56] DogFace says: So... what happened man?
[13/06/2008 09:33:10] DogFace says: (chuckle)
[13/06/2008 09:57:06] dhjackal says: everyone conspired against me
[13/06/2008 09:57:08] dhjackal says: obviously
[13/06/2008 09:57:23] DogFace says: I got stiffed big on the Germany game..
[13/06/2008 09:57:31] DogFace says: ..FFS - who saw that one coming?
[13/06/2008 09:58:16] DogFace says: I'm glad we got rid of Lehmann! :-D
[13/06/2008 09:59:09] DogFace says: He couldn't save a brick from the bottom of a swimming pool wearing only his pyjamas!
[13/06/2008 10:09:29] dhjackal says: harsh
[13/06/2008 10:09:31] dhjackal says: but true

Luck be a lady tonight!

Yeah, cheers for that Czech Republic – how many chances do you need to be gifted before you can equalise!? The look on Ronaldo's face, that he cast to a few key team mates, said it all... still – I can't blame Portugal for blowing the gig, the Czechs, the bookies, and I deserved to lose and lose big on that one – and true to form Lady Luck reaches out and pulls the largest strap-on off the shelf, liberally coats it in gritted swafega and pounds us silly. Sometimes, it seems, you should just go with the form book!

Still – Lady Luck wasn't a total sadistic bitch, as she game me a hug and set the record straight in match two...

The fix was most definitely on – sort of, not 'on' in a PL/PGMO way, but 'on' in a subtle 'UEFA Euro 2008' way (not to be confused with the less subtle 'UEFA Champions League' way). The weather was something else, the match should have been abandoned but as it was a randomiser in favour of the Swiss so it was 'game on' with the following equation:

Zero skill advantage (due to playing conditions) + Run of referee decisions = Desired result.

Not so! Good on you Turkey, you did me – and my wallet – proud... I'm up by about 50 pence on yesterday's games; which is a damn sight better than being down 20 by quid.

Alas this does raise another question – now that the Swiss are effectively out of it, which team should a Goon support? Let's see who's left:

Cesc Fabregas - Spain,
Robin van Persie - Netherlands,
William Gallas - France,
Lukasz Fabianski - Poland
Jens Lehmann – Germany

Lehmann isn't really a gunner anymore so strike him off, France are bonkers – so they're out... I'm not bothered about Poland (as Fabianski is on the bench) – So that leaves Spain and the Netherlands as the obvious choices. I'm going for the Netherlands as they play the pretty-pretty football with Spain as my second team as, even though they have Fabregas, they are packed to the gills with Liverpool players.

Come on you Dutch!

Right, today's matches... let us examine the group:

Group B
P GD PTS
1 Germany 1 2 3
2 Croatia 1 1 3
3 Austria 1 -1 0
4 Poland 1 -2 0

Croatia v Germany @ Klagenfurt
I reckon Germany by two goals... they will have Austria in the last match and they will not want to be in a position where they will have to smash them out in a feisty match to continue... a draw would suit both but it would be better to guarantee a place today and take it easy in game three. German efficiency!

Austria v Poland @ Vienna
Poland are the better side... but – I don't know, something doesn't sit right for me here. Austria have good fitness and a raw squad – but Poland are better... Austria are the last of the tournament hosts... so – there will be reasons why them not being eliminated at this point would be advantageous to a number of parties. But Poland are the better team and will very much want to win... and they have a good keeper.

Let's consult the odds:

Poland: 2.38
Draw: 3.40
Austria: 3.45

Hmmm... there is cash to be made here – but I might just steer clear.

[12/06/2008 09:11:31] DogFace says: well - win some lose some... how many chances did the Czechs have to equalise? Useless bastards. Still Turkey did me proud!
[12/06/2008 09:12:11] dhjackal says: and me
[12/06/2008 09:13:25] DogFace says: ha - nice one!! They were the long odds - and you could see why with the weather and the Swiss getting the run of decisions. I laughed my arse off when they nicked it at the end.
[12/06/2008 09:13:55] dhjackal says: i thought it was a draw until i saw the paper this morning
[12/06/2008 09:14:26] DogFace says: Ha ha - man it was classic... why didn't you watch it?
[12/06/2008 09:14:39] dhjackal says: i watched the 1st half - saw enough
[12/06/2008 09:15:17] DogFace says: The second half was better - the first half was slapstick football.
[12/06/2008 09:15:29] dhjackal says: i know, laughable
[12/06/2008 09:15:33] DogFace says: I've had games called off playing in better conditions!
[12/06/2008 09:15:41] dhjackal says: who you going with today?
[12/06/2008 09:15:59] DogFace says: It's going to take some thought...
[12/06/2008 09:16:19] dhjackal says: i had 100% record y'day
[12/06/2008 09:17:08] dhjackal says: Germand and Poland double
[12/06/2008 09:17:10] DogFace says: Yeah - you did well... although the first match looked to be an agreed draw - they just fucked up the gig.
[12/06/2008 09:17:12] dhjackal says: £10
[12/06/2008 09:17:26] dhjackal says: 3-1 is not an agreed draw
[12/06/2008 09:17:40] DogFace says: It went wrong.
[12/06/2008 09:17:50] dhjackal says: no
[12/06/2008 09:17:52] DogFace says: Yes.
[12/06/2008 09:17:55] dhjackal says: you went wrong
[12/06/2008 09:17:58] DogFace says: No... and yes.
[12/06/2008 09:18:08] dhjackal says: i think youi'll find it is a YES
[12/06/2008 09:18:16] dhjackal says: you fucked up the gig
[12/06/2008 09:18:18] dhjackal says: YOU
[12/06/2008 09:18:39] DogFace says: It was obvious... but I'm glad in a way as Portugal were the better team and it serves the Czechs right for being too shit to score despite being gifted 20+ chances to do so.
[12/06/2008 09:19:11] DogFace says: Did you see the last goal? The look on ronaldo's face?
[12/06/2008 09:19:47] DogFace says: Did he look happy... of did he look a bit sheepish?
[12/06/2008 09:20:04] DogFace says: In fact none of the goals were particularly celebrated...
[12/06/2008 09:20:28] dhjackal says: whatever
[12/06/2008 09:20:44] dhjackal says: your deluded
[12/06/2008 09:20:55] DogFace says: It's good though as I want to see Turkey smash the Czechs and go through... should make for a good match!
[12/06/2008 09:21:10] DogFace says: How can you say I'm deluded?
[12/06/2008 09:21:25] DogFace says: Go back to your Panini sticker album you fucking moron!
[12/06/2008 09:22:11] dhjackal says: HELLO?
[12/06/2008 09:22:22] dhjackal says: you thought it was a "nailed on" "fixed" DRAW
[12/06/2008 09:22:28] dhjackal says: it turned out to be 3-1
[12/06/2008 09:22:32] DogFace says: It was an agreed draw – there's no such thing as a "nailed on" result.
[12/06/2008 09:22:44] dhjackal says: and now you say they "didn't mean to score" the 3 goals
[12/06/2008 09:22:51] dhjackal says: course it was
[12/06/2008 09:22:53] DogFace says: Yes - it went wrong - it was so obvious, I don't know how you couldn't see it from watching the match?
[12/06/2008 09:23:04] DogFace says: The body language of the players...
[12/06/2008 09:23:05] dhjackal says: i didn't know why i bother
[12/06/2008 09:23:11] DogFace says: …the "kick-about" attitude.
[12/06/2008 09:23:23] dhjackal says: no
[12/06/2008 09:23:24] DogFace says: You need to watch a little closer.
[12/06/2008 09:23:25] dhjackal says: it was easy
[12/06/2008 09:23:27] dhjackal says: easy
[12/06/2008 09:23:33] DogFace says: Yes it was...
[12/06/2008 09:23:34] dhjackal says: like i said it would be
[12/06/2008 09:23:42] DogFace says: ...because nobody was trying!
[12/06/2008 09:23:42] dhjackal says: that's why they won 3-1
[12/06/2008 09:23:52] dhjackal says: because portugal are MUCH better
[12/06/2008 09:23:57] dhjackal says: making it easy
[12/06/2008 09:23:59] DogFace says: Yes they are much better.
[12/06/2008 09:24:01] dhjackal says: for them to win
[12/06/2008 09:24:02] DogFace says: I will agree.
[12/06/2008 09:24:07] dhjackal says: no agreed draw
[12/06/2008 09:24:12] DogFace says: But the result does not tell the whole story – it was 2-1 right up until the last minute and Portugal were letting them attack again and again.
[12/06/2008 09:24:12] dhjackal says: just an easy win
[12/06/2008 09:24:20] dhjackal says: and was always going to be
[12/06/2008 09:24:27] DogFace says: Err - why are you defending this match?
[12/06/2008 09:24:36] dhjackal says: i'm not - i'm defending my prediction
[12/06/2008 09:24:45] DogFace says: Yes you are, besides – your prediction came true?
[12/06/2008 09:25:00] dhjackal says: and your nonsencial arguement that the result was a mistake
[12/06/2008 09:25:19] DogFace says: You think that if you admit that there might be the slightest whiff of corruption in a game that your team do so well out of then the whole illusion might fall apart?
[12/06/2008 09:25:46] dhjackal says: no
[12/06/2008 09:25:49] DogFace says: Yup.
[12/06/2008 09:25:51] dhjackal says: i think you need to let it go
[12/06/2008 09:25:56] dhjackal says: get another line
[12/06/2008 09:26:01] DogFace says: I think you need you open your mind.
[12/06/2008 09:26:01] dhjackal says: this one is boring me
[12/06/2008 09:26:13] DogFace says: Then why don't you let it go...
[12/06/2008 09:26:22] DogFace says: ...and stop trying to convince me that I'm wrong?
[12/06/2008 09:26:31] dhjackal says: your right
[12/06/2008 09:26:33] dhjackal says: i will
[12/06/2008 09:26:34] DogFace says: thanks
[12/06/2008 09:27:47] DogFace says: right
[12/06/2008 09:27:51] DogFace says: on to business
[12/06/2008 09:27:52] dhjackal says: ok
[12/06/2008 09:27:56] dhjackal says: lets hear it
[12/06/2008 09:28:11] dhjackal says: who's "fixed" what today?
[12/06/2008 09:28:46] DogFace says: I reckon Germany will go out to win.
[12/06/2008 09:28:54] dhjackal says: look
[12/06/2008 09:28:56] dhjackal says: Germany and Poland
[12/06/2008 09:28:59] dhjackal says: end of
[12/06/2008 09:29:02] DogFace says: although, as yesterday, a draw would suit both...
[12/06/2008 09:29:11] dhjackal says: well you get on the draw then
[12/06/2008 09:29:16] DogFace says: But I can't see Germany wanting that
[12/06/2008 09:29:19] dhjackal says: i'm sticking with Germany and Poland
[12/06/2008 09:29:25] DogFace says: Reasons? How many goals?
[12/06/2008 09:29:37] dhjackal says: they are the best 2 teams
[12/06/2008 09:29:45] DogFace says: Germany by... 2 goals?
[12/06/2008 09:29:48] dhjackal says: i've already got £5 on each
[12/06/2008 09:30:52] DogFace says: I'm thinking that maybe Austria
[12/06/2008 09:31:09] DogFace says: dunno - might not get on that match.
[12/06/2008 09:31:24] DogFace says: I think it's going to be close.
[12/06/2008 09:31:33] DogFace says: Austria seemed to have great fitness capable of getting late goals - what's the Poland fitness like?
[12/06/2008 09:32:25] DogFace says: Game 1 - Germany to beat Croatia by 2 goals.
[12/06/2008 09:32:42] DogFace says: HT/FT Germany/Germany
[12/06/2008 09:32:44] dhjackal says: Germany & Poland
[12/06/2008 09:32:50] dhjackal says: that's it
[12/06/2008 09:33:03] DogFace says: Man ...not sure about the second match...
[12/06/2008 09:33:13] DogFace says: don't think it's quite so clear cut - I wouldn't risk the double.
[12/06/2008 09:46:06] DogFace says: what odds did you get on Poland?
[12/06/2008 09:46:28] dhjackal says: donno
[12/06/2008 09:46:34] dhjackal says: what are they?
[12/06/2008 09:47:10] DogFace says: Just checking..
[12/06/2008 09:49:05] DogFace says: The network is quite busy... you got the java client on your phone yet?
[12/06/2008 09:49:14] dhjackal says: no
[12/06/2008 09:49:23] dhjackal says: did it all online last night
[12/06/2008 09:49:54] DogFace says: Yeah it can cause problems having 24/7 access to a betting exchange - particularly when you are pissed.
[12/06/2008 09:50:06] dhjackal says: :)
[12/06/2008 09:50:28] DogFace says: I remember Scottish_Darran telling me he was pissed up and stuck a grand on a rugby match.
[12/06/2008 09:50:37] dhjackal says: he did
[12/06/2008 09:50:42] dhjackal says: luckily he won
[12/06/2008 09:51:07] DogFace says: Nutcase!
[12/06/2008 09:51:57] DogFace says: Iraqi_Ali is brewing up some mega-coffee if you and NickLeFranc are interested?
[12/06/2008 09:52:06] dhjackal says: Mmmm
[12/06/2008 09:52:12] dhjackal says: that stuff is dangerous!
[12/06/2008 09:52:12] DogFace says: Yeah - might brew a pot of Silver Needles instead...