Oh Milli Takim Ole Ole!

If there is one thing worse than losing all your cash on what you thought was a sure thing – then that’s losing all your cash on what you thought was a sure thing and having the north London Turkish community rub it right in your face.

There are many communities in North London – forget the Islington stereotypes of organic yoga and Tony Blair, Islington sprawls further than N1... it goes all the way down the Holloway road through N5 to N7... which is where I am.

There are many nationalities, races, communities, religions, perversions, addictions and ‘ways of life’ represented here – you name it and it’ll be walking down the Holloway road at some point on a Saturday afternoon (usually wearing an Arsenal shirt).

Two such nationality-based communities that are particularly well represented ‘round our way’ are the Greeks and the Turks... for some reason they don’t get on very well... they have some ‘history’ apparently.

The road I live in is on the Greek/Turkish divide and, the other night we had all the pissed up Turkish community driving up and down until the early hours of the morning honking their horns, windows down and playing some cheesy Turkish pop song (I assume that it’s the Turkish version of ‘3 lions’).

Their was a fight at one point when the Greek members of the street (we live predominantly Greek road) all piled out to give the Turks a good hiding for parking up at 2:30 am, stereo on full blast with all the doors open whilst standing on the roof, singing their lungs out.

Spawny bastards... you woke my kids up – twice... The match looked hard – I don’t know how Turkey do it – oh wait, yes I do! It’s good to see that they got the ‘power-aid’ mixture right this time and nobody got sent off for flipping out with their eyes rolling around their heads whilst chewing their cheeks out... that’s progress!

On to another Match – last night’s game with Russia and Holland... how did Russia do it? They looked so fresh-legged – for the whole game... and that was with much less of a break and harder matches than the Dutch - I know that they are a young squad but – they just kept running like machines!

So that’s all my money gone... well apart from the sweepstake at work, I’m still in that with Russia... I also put a bet on pre-tournament on what was then a considerable long shot – this was on the advice of The Joker... if that comes off then I’ll be up and then some. But – in all honesty, I doubt that they will get past Italy.

Which brings us neatly on to tonight’s match:

Spain v Italy @ Vienna

Italy to get through – nothing to do with form, skill, fitness or football or anything like that – Italy will have prepared for this and Spain just don’t have the clout. I’ll be watching carefully... and wondering where it all went wrong?

Never mind the bollocks.

bollocks.

Everybody has the right to be wrong!

Fuck, fuck, fuckity, fuck, fuck!!

Can someone help me out here? What out of the following 3 would constitute 'the most useless':

• The Portuguese defence
• A nuns tits
• A one legged man in an arse kicking contest

Scolari, I’m glad you are going to Chelsea as you can teach them how to make the most basic schoolboy errors when defending set pieces... what was going on – I don’t understand it!?
Essentially, I read the match dynamic pretty much right – and at half time I was fairly confident that my ship would be sailing home. The third German goal (the softest of the goals) ended that. It came at a bad time too – just as the German legs were looking tired the Portuguese accepted defeat and put their heads down. They bottled it. Some people might say that the third German goal was a foul – but, to me honest, the defender jumped too early and the keeper should have been there, so there were too many basic fuckups to even bother about whether it was a foul or not. Scolari, you’re the manager – why didn’t you sort it out and manage? Why were you on your arse in the dugout five minutes before your team hit the pitch? Did you really have NOTHING else to say to them – or were you too busy dreaming of blue roubles to care?

Blah - congratulations Germany, you bastards.

Still – I clawed back a bit of cash with a punt on the ‘winning margin’ being 1 goal – so I’m now only 44% down on my tenner from last night.

Tonight I need to flip a coin, roll a dice and double through... ha – maybe I’ll look into ‘first corner’ and let it all ride – it would have saved me 85 minutes of stress/despair watching last nights match.

*tilt*

Ok, ok – calm, ‘win some lose some’ remember... let’s look at this logically:

Quarter-final - Croatia v Turkey @ Vienna

Result: Croatia will smash Turkey, 3-1
Reasons: Instinct.

[20/06/2008 09:11:32] DogFace says: dah
[20/06/2008 09:11:53] DogFace says: it was looking so good until Germany got the 3rd and then they gave up!
[20/06/2008 09:12:01] DogFace says: Fucking Portugal!!
[20/06/2008 09:18:03] dhjackal says: well you wouldn't listen
[20/06/2008 09:18:20] DogFace says: meh
[20/06/2008 09:18:47] DogFace says: You should have told me that Portugal were weak on set pieces!!!
[20/06/2008 09:18:58] DogFace says: Rather than just saying that ‘Germany will win’!
[20/06/2008 09:19:36] dhjackal says: i told you portugal would bottle it
[20/06/2008 09:19:39] dhjackal says: and they did
[20/06/2008 09:20:33] DogFace says: OK - I accept that, but next time tell me how they will bottle it. I didn't know they were THAT bad at the back!
[20/06/2008 09:23:33] dhjackal says: Spain are just as bad
[20/06/2008 09:23:40] dhjackal says: esp without Payol
[20/06/2008 09:26:16] DogFace says: Yeah... I reckon you might be right - although Fabregas can drop back when he needs to, to help out a bit, he's been doing that last season with Arsenal... but still - Italy.. I hope Spain make it a tough match for them at least.
[20/06/2008 09:34:29] dhjackal says: your over analysing again
[20/06/2008 09:37:38] DogFace says: ha-ha
[20/06/2008 09:37:44] DogFace says: Just go with instinct right?
[20/06/2008 09:38:00] DogFace says: OK - so tonight: Quarter-final - Croatia v Turkey @ Vienna
[20/06/2008 09:38:10] DogFace says: Croatia are going to SMASH them!
[20/06/2008 09:38:29] DogFace says: That's my instinct.
[20/06/2008 09:39:04] dhjackal says: i agree
[20/06/2008 09:39:13] dhjackal says: now stick to your instinct
[20/06/2008 09:39:15] DogFace says: Then it's settled?
[20/06/2008 09:39:21] dhjackal says: and stick some cash down
[20/06/2008 09:39:26] dhjackal says: if you lose you lose
[20/06/2008 09:39:30] dhjackal says: like Rocky
[20/06/2008 09:40:05] DogFace says: I’m going to - I'm down 44% on last night... clawed some back on "Winning Margain".
[20/06/2008 09:40:26] DogFace says: Yeah man - like Rocky!
[20/06/2008 09:40:57] DogFace says: All I need now is a little Irish fellah barking orders at me and telling me that I'm going to eat lightning and crap thunder...
[20/06/2008 09:41:34] dhjackal says: sounds like a perfect role for me
[20/06/2008 09:41:50] dhjackal says: i need to drink more peat water to redden up my face
[20/06/2008 09:42:21] DogFace says: hahaha
[20/06/2008 09:43:15] DogFace says: OK - this is where it starts. The big comeback - tonight my cash is going down heavy on Croatia!
[20/06/2008 09:43:38] DogFace says: Gettin' strong now (music) ba dah daaah!
[20/06/2008 09:44:01] dhjackal says: how much?
[20/06/2008 09:44:20] DogFace says: Whatever's left... £6.63
[20/06/2008 09:44:35] DogFace says: Should I invest some more?
[20/06/2008 09:44:35] dhjackal says: not exactly breaking the bank are you?
[20/06/2008 09:44:41] dhjackal says: stick £5 for me
[20/06/2008 09:44:55] DogFace says: I thought I would be a bit more up after last night!
[20/06/2008 09:45:36] dhjackal says: i would have been
[20/06/2008 09:45:38] DogFace says: OK - £5 on Croatia win. I'll do it @ lunch.
[20/06/2008 09:45:41] dhjackal says: had i been at home
[20/06/2008 09:45:45] dhjackal says: ok - nice one
[20/06/2008 09:45:51] dhjackal says: what you doing for lunch?
[20/06/2008 09:46:09] DogFace says: Dunno - maybe we could round up the boys and get Thai?
[20/06/2008 09:46:23] dhjackal says: fancy a sneeky (beer)
[20/06/2008 09:46:29] DogFace says: Yeah man!
[20/06/2008 09:47:13] DogFace says: I just got some mentally un-taxing work to do this afternoon - so that'll make it fly by.
[20/06/2008 09:51:17] dhjackal says: wicked
[20/06/2008 09:51:25] dhjackal says: i'll round up some bodies
[20/06/2008 09:51:30] DogFace says: Do it.
[20/06/2008 09:51:33] dhjackal says: we'll hit the Uni
[20/06/2008 09:51:36] dhjackal says: hard
[20/06/2008 09:51:50] DogFace says: And smash it to splinters!
[20/06/2008 09:52:24] dhjackal says: 8-)

Somewhere in the ancient mystic trinity...

Right, let’s get serious. It’s the first of the proper games where it all counts and we can safely assume that everyone will be going for it. Let's move on swiftly to tonights fixture :

Quarter-final: Portugal v Germany @ Basel

I’ve tried to compile up some stats to inform me a bit more where my cash should go, but it’s very hard to find them? Why can’t I find these figures anywhere – surely it’s of interest?
Anyway – those I couldn’t find I took a guess at... I wanted many more stats but it was too much work (while trying to do actual work).

I have tried to make some 'Top Trumps' style stats, check it out:

Referee: Peter Fröjdfeldt (SWE)
Linesmen: Stefan Wittberg (SWE), Henrik Andren (SWE)
Fourth Official: ???

Expected officiating style: Card happy

Portugal
Last Game Played: 15 June 2008
Last Game Physicality: Easy
Last Game % of 'First team' used: 33%
Yellow Cards: 5 (Jose Bosingwa, Paulo Ferreira, Fernando Meira, Miguel, Jorge Ribeiro)
Red Cards: N/A
Average Team Age: 26.03184524
Average Team Height: Not Lanky
Average Team Weight: Average

Germany
Last Game Played: 16 June 2008
Last Game Physicality: Hard
Last Game % of 'First team' used: High
Yellow Cards: 3 (Bastian Schweinsteiger, Michael Ballack, Jens Lehmann)
Red Cards: 1 (Bastian Schweinsteiger)
Average Team Age: 27.32529762
Average Team Height: 6'1
Average Team Weight: Big lads

So – as you can see Portugal look to have the edge here... add to that – the German manager has been banned from the touchline (I think, is he still?). I remember Basel not being a particularly fast pitch... in fact it was a fucking swamp the last time I saw it. But maybe they’ll ring it out and cut the grass a bit for this match. Anyone know what the weather will be doing?

Breaking news:

• Holding midfielder Frings is a major doubt with fractured ribs, while Podolski has a calf problem.
• The pitch in Basel for the game has been relaid after heavy rain and Germany have decided not to train on the St Jakob Park turf the day before the game.

I reckon Portugal will win as they have had an extra days rest and they didn’t even turn up to the last match they played. Germany will be giving away a couple of years and will start feeling it in the legs in the second half - especially if the pitch is heavy - so Portugal will have to attack, attack, attack - they won’t be able to mark them out of the game for the full 90 minutes if they do that. Germany will look for space around the area on the break and be belting them in... but I can’t see them actually pushing forward past the 20 minute mark.

My instinct says Germany... but the facts say Portugal - so Portugal by a goal.

My money is down... please let me be right or its back to that smegging, smart-arse dice again.

Good luck!

*ARSENAL NEWS*

We have semi-officially signed Nasri... but we already knew that. Also Barcelona are in semi-official talks over Hleb. They have also stated their intention of signing Adebayor for 24 million quid. Could Wenger be setting up some kind of deal with a player swap involved? I would probably think so... still – I would like to keep Ade as he is a proven EPL goal scorer, give him another season or two and he’ll be better than Drogba at his peak with a considerable age advantage – so, 24,000,000 don’t seem that much... worry, worry, worry.

:-S

Denis Denis, I'm so in love with you...

It makes me glad that I didn't have money on that but how can you predict a bonkers France team selection (maybe I could have predicted that), a sending off with an Italy penalty, a key injury in Ribery (glad we didn't buy him now) and an Henry own goal? Well - at least we got to see Henry score... classic stuff, back to goal with a lickle flick on from 30 yards out to send the keeper the wrong way... I did say roll a dice!

France needs to rebuild... I would start with the manager who seems to have, and let's be fair to him, lost the fucking plot! Denis Denis, je suis si folle de toi!

The other game was better and I mostly watched that one. The Dutch are clearly on fire – with a B(ish) team they destroyed Romania who, despite being knackered from the previous match, are still pretty good... Although – this may come back to bite them in the semis, personally I would have taken it easy and let them win, knocking out Italy and France as a bonus – (obvious init?) hence my prediction, I read it wrong - sorry... Still – RvP eh? Nice goal!

On to tonight's matches – Let's look at the group:

Group D P GD PTS
1 Spain 2 4 6
2 Sweden 2 1 3
3 Russia 2 -2 3
4 Greece 2 -3 0

So it's a straight punch out between Sweden and Russia, Sweden only requiring a draw to go through... and, because I'm clearly so shit at this, I'm going to consult the dice again:

Greece v Spain @ Salzburg
Referee: Howard Webb (ENG)
Assistant referees: Darren Cann (ENG), Mike Mullarkey (ENG),
Fourth official: Stéphane Lannoy (FRA)

The die says: Spain... by 3. (ha - no chance!)

Russia v Sweden @ Innsbruck
Referee: Frank de Bleeckere (BEL)
Assistant referees: Peter Hermans (BEL), Alex Verstraeten (BEL)
Fourth official: Kristinn Jakobsson (ICE)

The die says Russia... by 1 (fuck that – I would be on the draw!).

The dice are clearly having a laugh. So unless you have some kind of inside info – I would steer clear. I may have to invest another tenner for the next round so I can put my money where my mouth is... I reckon it'll be more predictable now that we know the form.

[18/06/2008 09:43:53] dhjackal says: When Jonny goes marching down the wing
[18/06/2008 09:43:57] dhjackal says: O'Shea! O'Shea!
[18/06/2008 09:44:00] dhjackal says: When Jonny goes marching down the wing
[18/06/2008 09:44:05] dhjackal says: O'Shea! O'Shea!
[18/06/2008 09:44:15] DogFace says: What you talking about Willis?
[18/06/2008 09:44:18] dhjackal says: When Jonny goes marching down the wing the stretford end will f*ckin sing...
We all know that Jonny's going to score!
Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na!
[18/06/2008 09:44:41] dhjackal says: repeat until your face bursts
[18/06/2008 09:48:12] DogFace says: Again, what are you on about?
[18/06/2008 09:48:25] dhjackal says: John O'Shea
[18/06/2008 09:48:29] dhjackal says: it's obvious
[18/06/2008 09:48:47] DogFace says: Yeah... so - did he score a goal or something?
[18/06/2008 09:48:55] dhjackal says: course he did
[18/06/2008 09:49:01] dhjackal says: he always scores
[18/06/2008 09:49:16] dhjackal says: i remember him sticking a volley in the net against you at Highbury when we smashed you up 4-2
[18/06/2008 09:53:38] DogFace says: OK... so - did he score recently?
[18/06/2008 09:53:42] DogFace says: i.e. what are you on about?
[18/06/2008 09:56:31] dhjackal says: last time he scored was against Liverpool at Anfield which essentially won us the league
[18/06/2008 09:56:50] dhjackal says: he's a legend
[18/06/2008 09:57:06] DogFace says: So why are you singing about him this morning? Did he die?
[18/06/2008 09:57:17] dhjackal says: I'm singing about him because he's a legend
[18/06/2008 09:57:28] DogFace says: ...gotcha...
[18/06/2008 09:57:37] dhjackal says: your an Arsenal fan
[18/06/2008 09:57:45] dhjackal says: you only sing when people die
[18/06/2008 09:57:47] DogFace says: Went down the lane - The other night
[18/06/2008 09:58:05] DogFace says: To tell all the scum - we got a new Ian Wright.
[18/06/2008 09:58:14] DogFace says: They said to me - well how can that be?
[18/06/2008 09:58:32] DogFace says: I said to them - we got Thierry Henry!
[18/06/2008 09:59:10] dhjackal says: His son's a robbing little shite bag - Ian Wright.
[18/06/2008 09:59:26] dhjackal says: thiving fucking gipsy
[18/06/2008 09:59:37] DogFace says: Eh - what's he done?
[18/06/2008 09:59:47] dhjackal says: he's been arrested for robbery
[18/06/2008 09:59:57] DogFace says: When?
[18/06/2008 10:00:05] dhjackal says: 3 mobile phones, £130 and a packet of ciggys
[18/06/2008 10:00:12] dhjackal says: what a fucking idiot
[18/06/2008 10:00:14] DogFace says: What Sean?
[18/06/2008 10:00:18] dhjackal says: no
[18/06/2008 10:00:26] DogFace says: Well I was going to say... apart from taking the Chav rouble and his choice of car, Sean seems fairly sensible.
[18/06/2008 10:00:28] dhjackal says: the other little fuckwit
[18/06/2008 10:00:40] DogFace says: Well... his dad was also a bit of a scallywag when he was a lad.
[18/06/2008 10:01:00] dhjackal says: Thiving South London gipsies
[18/06/2008 10:01:31] DogFace says: Is it 'gypsies' or 'gipsies'... or something else?
[18/06/2008 10:01:45] dhjackal says: who cares
[18/06/2008 10:02:06] DogFace says: Well - now they are out of Eurovision 2008 – nobody... look, if you're going to get all 'essentialist' on me you should at least get your labels right - you pig tickling potato eater.
[18/06/2008 10:02:08] DogFace says: Oh FFS: "Barcelona president Joan Laporta has sanctioned a £24m move for Arsenal striker Emmanuel Adebayor in a bid to beat off competition from AC Milan."
[18/06/2008 10:02:10] dhjackal says: oh well
[18/06/2008 10:02:25] DogFace says: How about this then: "Manchester United's owners have again come out and said Cristiano Ronaldo is not for sale at any price, despite Real Madrid being prepared to pay up to £70m for the Portuguese star."
[18/06/2008 10:02:44] DogFace says: "But Real Madrid will pay any fines Ronaldo picks up if he stays away from Old Trafford when the United players report back for pre-season training in a bid to lure him to Bernabeu..."
[18/06/2008 10:07:43] dhjackal says: what a bunch of cunts
[18/06/2008 10:08:15] DogFace says: It's all media noise to engineer consent in the fanbase – establish that SAF and the board are 'proper geezers' and CR is a spoiled little twat, then do the deal... ker-ching!
[18/06/2008 10:08:22] dhjackal says: whatever
[18/06/2008 10:08:35] dhjackal says: Italy are going to beat Spain
[18/06/2008 10:08:45] dhjackal says: and Germany are going to beat Portugal
[18/06/2008 10:08:53] dhjackal says: it's in the stars
[18/06/2008 10:09:37] DogFace says: Spain will smash Italy... yes - I think that Germany could beat the Portuguese.
[18/06/2008 10:10:21] DogFace says: Portugal hasn't really been tested yet.
[18/06/2008 10:10:48] DogFace says: What about Croatia/Turkey?
[18/06/2008 10:10:52] dhjackal says: Italy will win
[18/06/2008 10:10:59] DogFace says: You reckon?
[18/06/2008 10:11:02] dhjackal says: yes - mark my words
[18/06/2008 10:11:05] DogFace says: What's your rationale?
[18/06/2008 10:11:14] dhjackal says: Spain are going to bottle it and Italy have the experience
[18/06/2008 10:11:28] DogFace says: I see...
[18/06/2008 10:11:37] dhjackal says: i'm lumping on
[18/06/2008 10:11:40] DogFace says: Spain have got some talent though?
[18/06/2008 10:11:53] dhjackal says: Croatia should beat Turkey
[18/06/2008 10:11:59] DogFace says: Yes well...
[18/06/2008 10:12:07] DogFace says: ...it depends on the half time oranges!
[18/06/2008 10:12:01] dhjackal says: talent counts for little when you've got a cock up your arse
[18/06/2008 10:12:34] dhjackal says: they're going to get it big time
[18/06/2008 10:12:46] DogFace says: So are you saying that all the Spanish team are taking it up the arse or Italy will bend them over and pound them silly?
[18/06/2008 10:14:26] dhjackal says: both
[18/06/2008 10:14:39] DogFace says: Spain also haven't had a real test yet... where as Italy will be feeling confident. Italy are notorious 'slow starters' - so... hmmmmm. I have been more impressed with Spain though.
[18/06/2008 10:14:42] dhjackal says: esp that little punk Torres
[18/06/2008 10:14:57] dhjackal says: fuck Spain they're finished
[18/06/2008 10:15:02] DogFace says: They have too much of the scouse in their side...
[18/06/2008 10:15:09] dhjackal says: that's another thing
[18/06/2008 10:15:18] DogFace says: 7 or 8 Liverpool players?
[18/06/2008 10:15:26] dhjackal says: Italia
[18/06/2008 10:15:31] dhjackal says: Italia
[18/06/2008 10:15:33] dhjackal says: Italia
[18/06/2008 10:15:33] dhjackal says: Italia
[18/06/2008 10:16:20] DogFace says: So - who will Holland face?
[18/06/2008 10:18:49] DogFace says: Russia or Sweden?
[18/06/2008 10:18:59] dhjackal says: tough one
[18/06/2008 10:19:16] DogFace says: yes.
[18/06/2008 10:20:24] DogFace says: Andrei Arshavin is back after the ban.
[18/06/2008 10:20:30] dhjackal says: yeah
[18/06/2008 10:20:38] dhjackal says: i'm trying to call it - but it's difficult
[18/06/2008 10:21:04] DogFace says: It's going to come down to fitness or dodgyness.
[18/06/2008 10:21:33] dhjackal says: not if your 3 up at half time - you keep going on about this
[18/06/2008 10:21:42] DogFace says: If you play so many matches so close it really does make a difference.
[18/06/2008 10:22:07] DogFace says: Look at Turkey down by 2 goals... and then what?
[18/06/2008 10:22:14] dhjackal says: freak mistake by the goalie let them back in
[18/06/2008 10:22:35] DogFace says: A quick glug of 'go-go juice' at half time and they are bouncing around like spring lambs!
[18/06/2008 10:23:01] dhjackal says: and destroyed their morale
[18/06/2008 10:23:19] DogFace says: They were on the Redbull mate!
[18/06/2008 10:23:30] dhjackal says: it gives you wings
[18/06/2008 10:23:35] DogFace says: hahaha - that it does... that it does.

Roast fish and cornbread

Meh... I'm going to stick with rolling the dice in future. I didn't get to see the second half of either game as the missus wanted to watch a program about chav parents that only feed their kids chocolate, jelly babies and unhappy meals because "they won't eat nuffink else"... here's a clue – don't buy anymore brown vegetable fat (masquerading as chocolate), crisps or 4 litre bottles of luminous aerated fluids and pack your fucking cupboards out with them... try fresh fruit, vegetables and meat instead and pluck/skin, chop and cook it – maybe you could source it from your local market or game dealer (they do exist) and WALK there like all the middle class people who are eating better, healthier (and fucking 'trendier') than you for less money - do you know how much it costs to make a proper nice soup and a loaf of bread using only a few basic ingredients, a saucepan and an oven – about as much as a pack of hulk yogurts (18% dairy) and some 'cheese' strings... or a 20 B&H. You could even get the kids involved, make it fun and stretch their imaginations... or maybe not and your kids will turn out to be fat, useless, brain-dead automatons – just like you... it's like genetics except your kids are inheriting your stupid pig-headed stubborn fucking ignorance. Jesus Christ – look in the mirror – WAKE UP! YOUR CHILDREN ARE YOUR ONLY LEGACY!

Hang on – what the fuck am I on about... this is a football blog!??! Nothing gets me shouting at the telly more than adverts, documentaries and football.

Right, so, I gave rubbish tips yesterday – I admit... but what about tonight? Let's check out the group:

Group C P GD PTS
1 Netherlands 2 6 6
2 Romania 2 0 2
3 France 2 -3 1
4 Italy 2 -3 1

This is interesting... Romania just needs to beat a team that have already qualified top to go through! My, my, my... where as there is a 'Grudge Match' replay of the world cup final happening at the same time!

France v Italy @ Zurich
Hmm, avoid this match or roll the dice – France I reckon... even though they're bonkers, I'd like to see Henry score... it won't matter though because:

Netherlands v Romania @ Berne
Romania all the way baby – COME ON ROMANIA! Go on Netherlands – give 'em a chance... RvP to start maybe?

Now... what game should I watch?

[17/06/2008 13:34:17] DogFace says: Who for tonight?
[17/06/2008 13:34:32] DogFace says: France/Italy & Netherlands/Romania
[17/06/2008 13:35:12] dhjackal says: tough one tonight
[17/06/2008 13:35:19] DogFace says: I agree...
[17/06/2008 13:35:26] dhjackal says: i'm staying away
[17/06/2008 13:35:27] DogFace says: France & Romania?
[17/06/2008 13:35:52] dhjackal says: France have the best National anthem
[17/06/2008 13:36:03] DogFace says: Yeah - it's good.
[17/06/2008 13:36:19] dhjackal says: for a bunch of surrender monkeys
[17/06/2008 13:36:31] DogFace says: Yup... also, Netherlands play in orange.
[17/06/2008 13:37:14] DogFace says: Romania need a win - a draw could take them through.
[17/06/2008 13:37:21] dhjackal says: could
[17/06/2008 13:37:24] DogFace says: But only if Italy & France draw.
[17/06/2008 13:37:29] dhjackal says: which they might
[17/06/2008 13:37:38] DogFace says: Where as Netherlands have finished top win/lose/draw...
[17/06/2008 13:37:52] DogFace says: ...so I doubt that they'll be up for a battle.
[17/06/2008 13:38:46] dhjackal says: probably
[17/06/2008 13:39:47] DogFace says: Fuck... I reckon Romania have to do it!
[17/06/2008 13:40:21] dhjackal says: you might be right
[17/06/2008 13:40:23] DogFace says: It's up for grabs!
[17/06/2008 13:41:09] DogFace says: Those boys will be thinking - if we do this then some EPL team might want to pay up 50k a week!
[17/06/2008 13:41:40] DogFace says: Which is better than their current salary of half a pig and a box of carrots.
[17/06/2008 13:45:04] dhjackal says: Mmmm pig
[17/06/2008 14:13:06] DogFace says: Manager Sir Alex Ferguson is furious with Manchester United's fixture list for 2008/09 as his side face away trips after all six Champions League group games.
[17/06/2008 14:13:31] dhjackal says: it's always the same
[17/06/2008 14:13:41] dhjackal says: we get screwed every season
[17/06/2008 14:13:47] DogFace says: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!
[17/06/2008 14:13:52] dhjackal says: BUT
[17/06/2008 14:14:00] DogFace says: that's the funniest thing I ever heard!
[17/06/2008 14:14:01] dhjackal says: we'll still win
[17/06/2008 14:14:05] DogFace says: (rofl)
[17/06/2008 14:14:12] DogFace says: "we get screwed every season"
[17/06/2008 14:14:13] dhjackal says: against all the odds
[17/06/2008 14:14:18] dhjackal says: CHAMPIONS
[17/06/2008 14:14:24] DogFace says: Mate - you don't know you're born!
[17/06/2008 14:14:26] dhjackal says: CHAMPIONS OF EUROPE
[17/06/2008 14:14:33] dhjackal says: your right
[17/06/2008 14:14:36] dhjackal says: (party)
[17/06/2008 14:14:39] dhjackal says: (dance)
[17/06/2008 14:14:43] dhjackal says: CHAMPIONS OF EUROPE
[17/06/2008 14:14:44] dhjackal says: CHAMPIONS OF EUROPE
[17/06/2008 14:14:45] dhjackal says: CHAMPIONS OF EUROPE
[17/06/2008 14:14:46] dhjackal says: CHAMPIONS OF EUROPE
[17/06/2008 14:14:46] dhjackal says: CHAMPIONS OF EUROPE
[17/06/2008 14:14:53] DogFace says: (finger)

We are all bourgeois now.

You know... just when I was beginning to thing that the standard of officialdom in the Eurovision Soccer Contest was 'ok', along comes Roberto Rosetti and Howard Webb to set the record straight – I've already covered the Webb debacle in the previous post – but it is worth bearing in mind these two officials as the tournament progresses as they are likely to change the dynamic of the match. So - think carefully before putting your cash down...

I got the Russia Vs. Greece game correct alas I didn't put any cash down... I also predicted the Turkey Vs. Czech Republic outcome (I don't know how they won as I only saw the first half and they were taking a beating) – again, no cash so no bet (see previous posts somewhere).

...This makes me a sad panda...

Let's look back at the Russia v Greece game... Roberto Rosetti gave the Russians absolutely everything. His linesmen gave Greece absolutely nothing (including the legitimate goal they scored). The words 'flag happy' spring to mind – I even think that the talking heads in the studio mentioned it – it was that obvious. For a laugh, it's worth googling "Rosetti" and "corruption" with "football" just to see what you come up with...?

The wiki for Rosetti is a laugh too with this quote:

"Rosetti also officiated at the Champions's League semi-final between Chelsea and Liverpool at Stamford Bridge on April 30, 2008, earning the praise of UK television and radio commentators for his control of the game."

Ha ha... let's forget for a moment that commentators talk 99% shit and read that again carefully... Oh yeah!

Wait just a minute... Chelsea, Abramovic, Russia! Eee gads!

As I said – watch out for these two boys (along with their henchmen), as they are the 'hit men' of this competition and are likely to get selected at the last minute to officiate on matches where "a job" needs doing.

In case you were wondering – we live in an energy economy and Russia has all the gas... so it's best to keep them sweet... you dig?

Suggested chant for the Russians: "Stand up, if you've got all the gas, Stand up, if you've got all the gas, Stand up..."

I must apologise for not posting over the weekend... I was busy – it was Fathers day and all that bollocks – Sophia made me a nice card with stickers on it and a picture of me carrying her on my shoulders... so the card industry who invented this day in the first place did not profit from it – which is the way it should be... in fact never buy any card ever - make them, it's nice. The only reason people seem to celebrate anything these days is if there is some fucking industry built up around it and ramming it down our necks.

I spoke to the boys this morning about father's day, what they did, etc – I didn't get my dad a card as he fucked off when I was 4 - I still see him... but y'know, dhjackal has a similar patriarchal experience but he bought his old man a card anyway... Iraqi_Ali casually informed us that his dad was executed when he was 4... but added, in an attempt to fill the stunned silence:

"No, it's ok – most peoples dad's I know where executed so it's no big deal..."

It's just a question of what you are used to I suppose... where you come from and where you are going. He loves England, like it's the 'golden country'; he can leave at anytime – where as I was born into this place and it pisses me right off.

It makes you wonder though, how many fathers day cards the Baghdad branch of WHSmith sold this year? Maybe that was the reason behind the occupation?

Iraqi_Ali has many stories to tell – he told us once that in Iraq you can get a boiled sheep head for breakfast and you just pick off the face meat and drink the soup. I asked him if you ate the eyes and he told me that if you ate the eyes it was a grave insult to your host and you would probably get shot – apparently it's a round-about way of insinuating that you are banging his missus and daughters at the same time. I suspect he's taking the piss.

*ARSENAL NEWS*

Today is fixtures day! It's the day when all the randomised fixtures come out – I wouldn't bother with them too much though as there didn't seem to be much in the way of Grand Slam Sunday's or Showdown Saturday's – so Sky, Setanta and the bookies will probably get their heads together to rearrange a few things in order to get maximum control/profit.

Our first match is West Brom at home... which is going to be interesting as they will be out to kick the shit out of us. It's going to be a good marker to see how the rest of our season might go... I wonder who's officiating that one?

RIGHT – onto tonight's fixtures, let's look at the group:

Group B
P GD PTS
1 Croatia 2 2 6
2 Germany 2 1 3
3 Austria 2 -1 1
4 Poland 2 -2 1

Austria v Germany @ Vienna
Well – who's reffing? Oh – it's Manuel Mejuto Gonzalez... I don't know much about him, is he any good? Let's ask one of my Scottish colleagues:

DogFace: "What's Gonzales like as a ref?"
ObsessiveC: "Him... he's a fucking cock-riding cunt! If he sets foot in Scotland he's a fucking dead man!"

Ok – that clears that one up, Gonzales – I would avoid Scotland as a possible holiday destination for the foreseeable future. I reckon, barring a dodgy penalty in the last 10 minutes, a draw all the way. For a laugh google: "Manuel Mejuto Gonzalez" and see what comes up - I did, and I laughed!

Poland v Croatia @ Klagenfurt
Well... I would say Poland as Croatia have already qualified and will field a 'B' squad with instructions not to break a sweat. Poland has a GD of -2 so there might be some goals here... Croatia will not want to be embarrassed though and will probably put 10 behind the ball and shut up shop.

Good luck!