There was a bizarre moment of clarity from talking head #1 at the start of last night’s commentary on the ‘friendly’ between England and the USA:
"We'll be watching this referee very carefully as he'll be officiating in the European championship and will be under instruction from UEFA as to his decision making"
I couldn’t agree more... sadly it was all downhill from there as talking head #1 and talking head #2 came out with such bizarre statements as:
“America are really looking comfortable here and they can be proud of the way they are playing”
Were they high?
“See with your eyes, touch with your hands, please
Hear through your ears, know in your soul, please.” - Morrissey
They, USA, were clearly ‘not very good’ and England couldn’t be arsed. Ignore these fuckers - this was a turd of a match and, as we all know, you can’t polish a turd. The one moment of class came from Beckham’s free kick which smacked John Terry in the side of his coconut head before it went in. The commentators then spoiled it by engaging in some mutual masturbation about how ‘the great John Terry was back’ and how, obviously, missing the penalty in the champions’ league final didn’t affect him as he ‘purposefully powered it home’. If truth be told – the delivery was so good that you could have stuck a lamp post there (or a coconut on a stick) and it still would have gone in... but – it made for a nice excuse for some interweaving ‘human interest’ monologues to overshadow a moment of skill in an otherwise dreary game... I bet the talking heads, whilst shuffling their sheets of pre-rehearsed platitudes, could not believe their luck.
Talking of which; I was left with the feeling that I should have got on Terry to score first – the odds were fantastic – I know as my mouse pointer momentarily hovered over the Betfair button before I thought: “Nah – fairytale bollocks, ain’t never gonna happen”. I, instead, went for £2 on: Correct Score = 2-1... win some – lose some, but it kept me semi-interested until the final whistle.
The other bizarre thing about last nights game was, given that it was a friendly, why play the established players who were clearly tired from the season and absolutely unenthused as to selection now that England wouldn’t be playing in the European championships? This combined with sticking 18 fully kitted out substitutes on the bench made me wonder; just what the hell was Capello up to? Was this ‘mind games’ for the players i.e. ‘nobody’s position is safe in this team’ (to established players) Vs ‘you may have a chance to impress’ (to un-established players)?
Fuck knows – all I know is that I groaned when Capello took Defoe off and stuck Crouch on... ok – so, he’s not played a lot of football this season but still... Crouch – who bloody cares!? Did we suddenly run out of attacking options? Was the USA’s defence so good that we had to sling on the freak? Eh?
I should point out that this has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that he always seems to score against us – honest – the lanky, cheaty bastard.
I would have liked to have seen this, and Sundays match, as an opportunity to blood in the youth of the squad against some second rate opposition who were clearly up for a game i.e. up for it in a way that they might be spotted by a Premiership club. That way it might have been a constructive and entertaining experience. Who cares if we win or not – this is a ‘friendly’ remember?!
Mind you – Wembley is a big stadium and I doubt that you could fill it with something as un-spectacular as a constructive and entertaining football match. Oh contraire – what is required is (half arsed) celebrities acting out an assured victory – after all, that’s what sells £8 hamburgers and plants 71,233 bums on seats these days...
The talking heads eventually concluded that the ref was “a bit whistle happy” – oh well, I’m glad someone was.
Meanwhile, slightly off subject, another Terry, Terry Wogan, has threatened to quit the Eurovison song contest. Wogan has shown a guiding light to commentators everywhere by having an actual opinion:
"I think the British music industry and the BBC really have to look at this and see how they can avoid this yearly debacle. At the very beginning of the year I said Russia would win for political reasons and they did."
This raises a question: was the Eurovision song contest ever a serious competition and were any of the songs in it ever any good? And if so; how did it get from that to this?
Hang on a second - Eurovison... Euro 2008...
...Hmmmm...
...This is where football is heading people; welcome to the future!
Subs not used: Hart, Lewis, Warnock, Woodgate, Jagielka, Wheater, Huddlestone, Downing, Young, Ashton, Walcott, Agbonlahor.
[28/05/2008 16:51:49] dhjackal says: Champions of Europe
[28/05/2008 16:51:54] dhjackal says: And England
[28/05/2008 16:52:01] dhjackal says: just in case you were -)
[28/05/2008 16:52:57] DogFace says: So... How's your billion quid of debt doing?
[28/05/2008 16:53:06] dhjackal says: good
[28/05/2008 16:53:15] dhjackal says: anyway it's only £780
[28/05/2008 16:53:21] dhjackal says: million
[28/05/2008 16:53:25] DogFace says: Yeah - £780,000,000 and still spending!
[28/05/2008 16:53:26] dhjackal says: yours?
[28/05/2008 16:53:30] DogFace We are nowhere near that figure...
[28/05/2008 16:53:46] dhjackal says: £340million
[28/05/2008 16:53:51] dhjackal says: not bad
[28/05/2008 16:53:53] dhjackal says: i suppose
[28/05/2008 16:54:04] DogFace says: Yes - at least we got a stadium out of it.
[28/05/2008 16:54:11] dhjackal says: but also no cups
[28/05/2008 16:54:20] DogFace says: The trophies will come... not that they’re going to mean much now.
[28/05/2008 16:54:22] DogFace says: :-(
[28/05/2008 16:54:27] dhjackal says: nice stadium
[28/05/2008 16:54:31] dhjackal says: 17,500 smaller than ours
[28/05/2008 16:54:56] DogFace says: Ha... well - good luck filling it when you're bankrupt!
[28/05/2008 16:55:08] dhjackal says: likesay
[28/05/2008 16:55:21] DogFace says: Not so - our debt is covered.
[28/05/2008 16:55:51] DogFace says: Although Nike/Emirates stiffed us on the shirt sponsorship... but it was necessary to ensure that the debt was covered.
[28/05/2008 16:56:19] DogFace says: Where as your debt is ‘covered’ on projections from Glazer Corp... do you trust him?
[28/05/2008 16:56:25] dhjackal says: yes
[28/05/2008 16:56:38] DogFace says: Ha - really?
[28/05/2008 16:56:42] dhjackal says: since they've took over we've won the league - twice
[28/05/2008 16:56:45] DogFace says: You bought it twice.
[28/05/2008 16:56:47] dhjackal says: the FA cup
[28/05/2008 16:56:49] DogFace says: Who cares.
[28/05/2008 16:56:50] dhjackal says: the league cup
[28/05/2008 16:56:51] DogFace says: Who?
[28/05/2008 16:56:52] dhjackal says: AND
[28/05/2008 16:57:00] dhjackal says: the Champions League
[28/05/2008 16:57:04] dhjackal says: not bad
[28/05/2008 16:57:25] DogFace says: Like I said - it doesn’t mean much these days... which is a shame.
[28/05/2008 16:57:43] dhjackal says: not to you it doesn't
[28/05/2008 16:57:51] dhjackal says: it would if you'd won it
[28/05/2008 16:57:56] dhjackal says: but you didn't
[28/05/2008 16:58:03] dhjackal says: so it means nothing to you
[28/05/2008 16:58:10] DogFace says: OK - so what does it mean to you?
[28/05/2008 16:58:12] dhjackal says: everything
[28/05/2008 16:58:13] DogFace says: It means everything?
[28/05/2008 16:58:17] dhjackal says: we're the best in Europe
[28/05/2008 16:58:20] dhjackal says: and we've proved it
[28/05/2008 16:58:25] DogFace says: Well... you have sold 'everything' - so you get what you pay for I suppose.
[28/05/2008 16:59:22] dhjackal says: would seem so
[28/05/2008 16:59:24] DogFace says: 780 million quid for a few tin cups and shit football... bargain!
[28/05/2008 16:59:31] DogFace says: (chuckle)
[28/05/2008 16:59:48] dhjackal says: so shit football played you off the park 3 times in a season
[28/05/2008 16:59:49] dhjackal says: interesting
[28/05/2008 16:59:53] DogFace says: Oh – ha, ha.
[28/05/2008 16:59:59] DogFace says: We've been over this...
[28/05/2008 17:00:06] DogFace says: ...many, many times – you go and ‘grind out your results’ and we’ll watch some proper sport.
[28/05/2008 17:00:11] dhjackal says: CHAMPIONS
[28/05/2008 17:00:18] dhjackal says: CHAMPIONS OF EUROPE
[28/05/2008 17:00:23] dhjackal says: Get in!!!!
[28/05/2008 17:00:24] dhjackal says: (party)
[28/05/2008 17:00:29] DogFace says: What - still? Sorry, I almost forgot.
[28/05/2008 17:00:29] dhjackal says: (dance)
[28/05/2008 17:00:40] dhjackal says: luckily i'm here to remind you
[28/05/2008 17:01:03] DogFace says: Yes... thanks - you are keeping it all in perspective for me.
[28/05/2008 17:01:12] dhjackal says: no problem
[28/05/2008 17:01:25] dhjackal says: i will always be here for you
[28/05/2008 17:02:19] DogFace says: In case I start to demand from my club that we spunk 100 million on a bunch of spoiled brats and cosy up with the bookies - I'll have you to remind me of the pitfalls.
[28/05/2008 17:03:15] dhjackal says: ko
[28/05/2008 17:03:17] dhjackal says: ok
[28/05/2008 17:03:18] dhjackal says: thanks
[28/05/2008 17:03:48] DogFace says: Are you having a parade then? (rofl)
[28/05/2008 17:03:55] dhjackal says: yes
[28/05/2008 17:04:08] DogFace says: Quality!
[28/05/2008 17:04:12] dhjackal says: can't wait
[28/05/2008 17:04:20] dhjackal says: i'll phone you from OT
[28/05/2008 17:04:30] dhjackal says: and send you some pictures
[28/05/2008 17:04:47] DogFace says: Can you take a picture of Rio Ferdinand standing at the front of the bus waving the trophy around with his clip-on tie?
[28/05/2008 17:04:52] DogFace says: I'd like that.
[28/05/2008 17:05:20] dhjackal says: i'll do my best
[28/05/2008 17:05:41] DogFace says: Cheers man (y)
